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Raise a glass with me....

(37 Posts)
spacewoman99 Mon 01-Jul-19 21:17:22

.....for my first night in my house with just DC and I. STBXH moved out today, after I've bought him out of the house.

He's still got to move most of his junk but he's sleeping at his new house from tonight onwards. I'm sat on my new Ikea sofa that I assembled myself, surrounded by shed loads of boxes of flat pack furniture. But he's gone. And it feels good.

I'm sad my marriage has failed and he let me down so badly. But the DC and I are fine, and I'm feeling positive for the future.

Cheers ! wine

OP’s posts: |
straighttalker33 Mon 01-Jul-19 21:24:02

Well done you! Enjoy your drink and enjoy your bright future winethanks

cakeandchampagne Mon 01-Jul-19 21:27:13

wine Cheers!

lilpumpsmum Mon 01-Jul-19 21:43:18

Cheers OP. Great news.
Onward and upwards! wine

spacewoman99 Mon 01-Jul-19 21:56:18

Ah thank you all! It's been a really shit 6 months since I discovered his affair. It's been so hard living together and working so hard to keep it amicable for the sake of the DC.

OP’s posts: |
GreigLaidlawsbarofsoap Mon 01-Jul-19 22:17:16

All the very best for a happy future OP winethanks

JeSuisPrest Mon 01-Jul-19 22:20:06

Sounds like you've got this. Cheers to you and your new future. And so the adventure begins... 🍷

2018anewstart Mon 01-Jul-19 22:32:22

Raising a massive glass to you..this is the beginning of a new and happy future for you. Don't look back look forward. Xxx

avamiah Mon 01-Jul-19 22:34:10

Good luck and wishing you all the best

Justmuddlingalong Mon 01-Jul-19 22:34:27

Here's to new beginnings. Cheers 🍷

Dora26 Mon 01-Jul-19 22:36:04

🍷To new beginnings.....

Startoftheyear2019 Mon 01-Jul-19 22:38:35

Good luck! 🍷

MancaroniCheese Mon 01-Jul-19 22:42:28

wine here is to a happy new you

Livingalie13 Mon 01-Jul-19 23:14:34

That first night is the best feeling ever. Don’t look back. The road is rocky but you can do this. I’m going through the same, except my hubby didn’t cheat he was just unreasonable. He moved out 3 weeks ago now and me and the kids have never been happier. You’ve got this

Moffa Tue 02-Jul-19 14:39:27

@spacewoman99 congratulations! Will raise a glass tonight! I’m 3 months in to living with my parents! Can’t wait to have my own place with the DC and my flat pack furniture! At the moment my H is refusing to get a lawyer though so could be a while! confused

@ great nails! Love them! X

Moffa Tue 02-Jul-19 14:39:50

Should have said @lilpumpsmum great nails! X

spacewoman99 Tue 02-Jul-19 16:00:59

Ah it's great to know you're all behind me. And that others are in the same boat ( flat pack grin).

I've had a handyman here today and I now have a tv unit, bed, wardrobe, and drawers! It feels like my house now. The scaffolding is being put up next week to sort the outside of the house, STBXH will have to move his junk by then 😡.

Moffa I hope your STBXH sorts a solicitor ASAP so you can move on and get into your own place. We haven't used a solicitor which has speeded things up massively; just came to an agreement on how much equity he has out of the house. Will sort divorce at a later stage. All very amicable so far, but if he doesn't get his junk out of the house soon it won't stay that way.

OP’s posts: |
mybrilliantmind Wed 03-Jul-19 17:47:22

Congratulations Spacewoman99. I hope you will all be very happy moving forwards. It must be a huge relief to be able to make a fresh start.
Did you do an equity transfer to buy him out? I'm in a similar position myself and I wonder if not divorcing until after the TOfE and re-mortgage leaves you vulnerable whilst still married. I haven't taken legal advice yet and it all seems so complicated.

SelenaMeyer2018 Wed 03-Jul-19 21:36:24

Congratulations 🍾!

Palaver1 Fri 05-Jul-19 06:30:39

Congratulations I’m so jealous ahh I could squeeze you all the best in your future xx

Weenurse Sun 07-Jul-19 01:40:38

🍷 congratulations

Graphista Sun 07-Jul-19 02:33:01

Cheers op wine

I've been where you are (though thankfully not the having to live together after its all blown up)

You can do this. Sounds like you know that though.

spacewoman99 Sun 07-Jul-19 10:25:50

I'm not even missing him. I feel energised. My worries about coping with DS 6 who has additional needs have been unfounded, I'm doing just fine. I know there will be dark days ahead, but generally I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I spoke to MIL yesterday. She said, "but how will you cope without him?" gringringrin. Bloody hilarious. She wanted to know why we've separated so I told her. She said he had promised her he wasn't seeing someone else (no shit Sherlock).

He's due to come over today to move the rest of his junk. I'm not overly hopeful that it will all be gone today. DC seem absolutely fine, probably because I'm fine. They're missing him though, and are expecting to spend some time at his new place today, I just hope he doesn't let them down.

I hope this is encouragement for anyone facing separation, life can be positive on your own.

OP’s posts: |
spacewoman99 Sun 07-Jul-19 10:30:37

Mybrilliantmind, yes I did a transfer of equity. Generally we're amicable though and have been able to agree finances between us. I suppose I am leaving myself vulnerable to an extent as he could go to court at any point for more money and half my final salary pension. But then he has a share in a property that I may be entitled to half of too, which he knows. I'm also relying on the fact that he's the least pro-active laziest person I know, so unlikely to take me to court.

OP’s posts: |
Graphista Sun 07-Jul-19 17:46:12

My ex also swore to his parents he hadn't cheated, I had a similar conversation with now ex mil at one point.

I let her prattle on for a bit and then at the end of the conversation "the OW is pregnant!"

I got shit from ex for that as apparently his parents went nuts at him!

He tried to claim to them as well as me that she wasn't as far along as she was but they're not stupid!

Ex barely speaks to his parents now, they're ashamed of his behaviour (not just in regards to me and dd, he also lied to OW that I was holding up divorce in order to avoid marrying her, has cheated on her repeatedly and isn't a supportive husband and father even though they now have 5 kids, let his parents down directly on some stuff too - they're in their 80's and need more help but he's the least useful child of theirs even though he's the one lives nearest, he leaves it to his siblings)

Not how he was raised at all!

Sounds you're on top of it all though

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