50/50 custody when one parent is a teacher

[YellowDolphin]

Not separated yet, but it is looking increasingly likely.

H is a teacher and so he does all of the childcare in the school holidays (2 primary aged children). I work part time so that I can take them to and pick them up from school a couple of days a week. This means that in the school holidays they are with him all day but see me every morning and evening.

If we separate I expect him to ask for 50/50 custody.

My concern is about the school holidays and whether I will get to see them other than when I take them away on holiday.

It seems silly for me to have them on certain days when I am working and then have to send them to a holiday club when he is off work, but if they are with him the whole holiday then it would be strange for me to pick them up from his, have them sleep at mine and then take them back to his in the morning before going back to work so that I can spend some time with them. I hope that makes sense?

I just wondered if anyone who had been in a similar position would mine sharing how they arranged things.

[IWantMyHatBack]

Not a teacher but work in education and get most of the holidays off.

We split the holidays. I do about 60% of the school breaks, because it's easier for me to do so. He takes the majority of his leave over school breaks to cover the rest. I increased my hours when we split and I've got a childminder for mornings now so I go in earlier but can be there for school pick ups (don't work in a school so that works for me)

Do you live near each other?

[IWantMyHatBack]

Sorry, that wasn't very clear. In the holidays I take about 4 full weeks of the summer break, 1 at Easter, and then we split the rest 50:50 ish. It's difficult.. It'll take a while but you'll find a schedule that works for you.

[YellowDolphin]

Thanks for your reply. We still live in the same house, not separated yet but have discussed it a few times so just thinking things through hypothetically.

Other people I know who have split up with children and have equal custody do alternating weeks which doesn't feel like it would work very well when H is in education as we would be sending the children to holiday clubs unnecessarily.

[RandomMess]

Surely in the school holidays you could have them after work overnight once per week plus most weekends and he does the opposite in term time?

[LemonTT]

I don’t understand your work pattern but as a pp has suggested you can agree a pattern that fits with terms and one that fits with holidays. There’s probably some element of reversal of usual patterns between the two. Basically he will be the RP for most of the holidays. This might sound painful but excepting Christmas it might give you a different parenting perspective (Disney Mum) and allow you some adult relaxation.

You should also consider whether and for how long you can sustain PT work when you split.

[altiara]

I’d send them to a cheap holiday club or sports club. If you work shorter days you may find some clubs do school day type hours.
Yes it costs money but you’re not reliant on ex having the children then, plus they get to see friends/make new friends etc. Do you have childcare vouchers?