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Scared, about to start (re)'negotiating' separation agreement and post separation residence for DC

(5 Posts)
NoMoreLimbo Mon 10-Jun-19 11:39:59

Hi all.
Well that really, as it says above. The ex DP and I are to sit down, yet again, to 'talk' about how things should be when we are separated under separate roofs. We had an agreement in place but as per an earlier thread of mine he doesn't want to do it like we agreed. Also pretends not to remember most of it drunk
So, now I am trying to think of how to boost myself with a bit of confidence so that I tonight can calmly state things to him and not shrivel into a heap of anxiety. He is a very intelligent articulate man and manipulates things me so well. I need to word things so that he understands that it is for the best of the DC's, but he just puts himself first in everything.

OP’s posts: |
PicsInRed Mon 10-Jun-19 12:41:26

What's the point?
You already negotiated something, he didn't stick to it. He's manipulative and working your head. Just get a solicitor and have them push the separation through. It doesn't sound like he wants to separate and he'll just keep stonewalling.

And be clever. He's not your friend. In separation, children and finances, he will be the adversary. You can't make him "understand" and he won't. Be careful what you tell him. Keep you cards close to your chest.

NoMoreLimbo Mon 10-Jun-19 13:03:28

@PicsInRed Thank you for your reply. I know. You are right. He has been working my head for so many years. I am really trying to break free from all of this, but it is very hard to break the 'conditioning' to freeze like a rabbit in headlights when I am faced with him looming over me.

OP’s posts: |
PicsInRed Mon 10-Jun-19 14:32:50

It is, I know.

Take your worst fears, up to and including reputation destruction and murder.

Accept that he's already done it and proceed as if that's inevitable. He's going to do what he's going to do and no placating will stop him being the destructive piece of crap he needs to be. You go get yours.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Mon 10-Jun-19 16:52:40

Cancel tonight. You don't have to talk to him about this if you're anxious and worried. Seek legal advice tomorrow.

What do YOU want? You have the best interests of your DC in mind; he doesn't.

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