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Moving on after divorce- how? I feel like my whole being needs a (kick up the butt) revamp.

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Leapoffaith00 Mon 03-Jun-19 15:47:54

Do you ever feel you are fighting to keep a home you can't afford, a job you dislike, friends who you question are friends, and always fighting to stop yourself eating the whole bloody cake! To top it off talk to yourself because you have no adult conversation after 5pm. I am actually mentally exhausted and I am thinking I need a complete revamp of ME! I don't actually know who ME is!!
Im a single parent to 2 dd's. Seperated 3 years ago and ex doesn't help with dd's emotionally or physically (he pays cm). For the past 3 years I have been juggling different jobs to keep afloat. Juggled childcare and out of school activities. Managed to jump 101 bumps along the way. Just focussing on moving forward.
I'm selling the home and me and my dd's are moving into my mums (2 bed property that she doesn't live in). That's one decision made to ease the fight. Its only temporary until I can sort things finacially.
I have no clue how to ease the rest. I know life can be a struggle sometimes but I have recently been thinking. Where the hell am I going?! Am I actually living?!
I have put on weight but I don't have the confidence to go to a gym. I feel totally disconnected from my friends (I think they're friends, I don't even know), even when I'm with them. I dislike my job, its mentally draining plus the hours are a nightmare with childcare. I don't date, I can't remember what it's even like to be close to anyone with the slightest bit of intimacy.
I was in the supermarket today and I realised my cardigan was inside out. After a shameful quick switch I actually had a moment of thinking that maybe I am just losing me. It sounds silly but, I can't even remember putting it on. Makeup isn't everything, but I hardly put any on anymore, I haven't been clothes shopping in yonks, I'm not that nice to myself lately.
Something or things have to change but I don't know how. How do you give yourself a life makeover?

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