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Will I ever trust again?

(6 Posts)
Moneymachine Sat 01-Jun-19 14:03:24

After 15yrs together and 10being married and now separated/divorcing , I feel like my married life has been such a lie and worth nothing at the end. I never expected DH to turn out so selfish and emotionally absent - throwing out our life together just because he will not admit any fault on his part or any self reflection what needs to change (no one else was involved, I just had enough of coercive control on his part)

It’s only been 6 months and I don’t think I can ever trust another person again .. have you felt like this and did you manage to overcome it?

OP’s posts: |
Palaver1 Sat 01-Jun-19 21:41:55

No it’s not crossed my mind only joking lol
You will trust agaiin Time is a healer.
You’ll look back in a few years and chuckle.
It’s getting to that stage that’s the killer though take each day at a time .
Wish I got out at 15 year mark instead of the 20 years mark ,
You’ll be just fine.

Moneymachine Sun 02-Jun-19 07:30:58

Thank you Palaver1 flowers so many people on here said they wished they have done it earlier! It helped

OP’s posts: |
swissmilk Mon 03-Jun-19 17:24:44

I'm in a similar situation...apart from I guess I always knew my 'd'h wasn't a very nice/good person.
I hope I have learnt something from the experience and to have my boundaries more firmly in place next time.
I'm taking it slowly, there might not be many decent single men of my age out there, so I'm not desperate in a way because I know it's not that likely.
I do like being single though.

spritesobright Mon 10-Jun-19 16:10:17

I hear you. It's so hard to trust again or even just to believe that long term relationships can work and people won't just give up/move on out of the blue.
In my case STBXH seemed to suddenly 'change his mind' about the marriage and just decided he didn't love me anymore and wasn't willing to try. And of course I later found put he was having an affair.
I have since embarked on another relationship and new partner is fantastic but I can't help worrying he will just change his mind suddenly like my ex.
However, although I don't believe in fairy tale romances anymore I refuse to give up on the idea of long term, committed love. It's hard and my new partner and I have had to be brutally honest with each other. And of course it involves so much risk of being hurt again but I refuse to let my ex destroy both my past and future relationships

Mac47 Mon 10-Jun-19 22:23:54

Many, many people go onto have long relationships or subsequent marriages post divorce, so clearly lots of people do regain that trust and optimism.
I haven't and won't, not because I'm not over it, I was long ago, but I'm just not prepared to put myself through any of it a second time!

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