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Divorce support group?

(266 Posts)
Atleastthedogisfaithful Tue 28-May-19 17:32:00

Does anyone have any experience of any good divorce support groups either online or face to face? It is 18 months since my husband left me after having an affair for 12 months. I have found it a rocky road financially and emotionally with good days and bad days - I suppose I want some reassurance life will get easier at some point!

OP’s posts: |
FauxJoMalaux Tue 28-May-19 20:25:17

I was only saying at work today that I need a divorce group - somewhere I can go to rant but also hear others experiences.

Following with interest! And OP have some flowers it’s tough isn’t it?

swissmilk Wed 29-May-19 13:15:48


Palaver1 Wed 29-May-19 14:47:14

Dont mind ranting nothing much to rant about for now though I’ve become indifferent to the crap.

Simonfromharlow Wed 29-May-19 22:35:52


Simonfromharlow Wed 29-May-19 22:36:05

One is needed I mean 😂

Oldlakewilsonroad Wed 29-May-19 22:47:26

watching as well...

nannytothequeen Fri 31-May-19 13:46:08

Hanging around too.

ChristmasTigger Fri 31-May-19 13:51:15

I’m in 🙋🏼‍♀️

2.5 years separated and finally part way through divorce (after him stalling with the papers for months whilst telling our DD - “we can’t get divorced yet because Mummy hasn’t signed the papers” 🤷🏼‍♀️)

And not yet sure if we will have to move house yet. 6 year old DD told me the other day “We can’t stay here forever because you didn’t pay for this house” whilst crying about not wanting to move house. Wonder where she heard that?! <rant over for today, and breathe 😤😂)

ChristmasTigger Fri 31-May-19 13:54:16

Oh, and for reassurance, I have now met someone who is gorgeous and lovely and supportive. So life is getting better, and I have retrained and have more confidence than I’ve ever had.

flowers OP

nannytothequeen Sat 01-Jun-19 01:48:08

Nearly 3 years separated. One year divorced. He is raging because my mum left me her house and I used the money to buy a place for myself mortgage free. He couldn't care less that my mum died and it just about broke me however. I have not met anyone. Not even a possibility of anyone. Not even a let's go for a coffee. No idea how to do that.

Palaver1 Sat 01-Jun-19 07:24:25

And why does anyone need anyone for now.
Just be careful.there are real nasty people out there I can truly say my soon to be ex.Will never be happily involved in a relationship because he doesn’t have the skills or is just sad to think he will be out on the loose and maybe putting someone else through torture.
I think one day I might be in a loving relationship his in his place I’m in mine.
Someone to spend quality time with have a rant have laughs someone to care.
That sort of thing cos face it who wants to be 70 and lonely.
For now not even a thought on this
As each day ticks by and I think how his delayed and refused to sign or engage a lawyer.I look at it like well your paying towards the mortage.
It will just take time but slowly but surely it will come to past.
Then what I’ll have more wardrobe space,won’t have to engage in petty discussions will have Space to breathe won’t have a person piggy backing on me.He does nothing so wont even notice just the finances that will be a little squeeze apart from that good riddance lazy man.

stucknoue Sun 02-Jun-19 15:05:02

I'm seriously considering setting one up here in real life, there's 3 of us that know each other so far but we think it's much needed. But not a sit in a room complaining group - we're thinking social get out there have fun as we are all miserable.

Palaver1 Sun 02-Jun-19 15:17:05

Then go for it

FauxJoMalaux Sun 02-Jun-19 16:39:23

Stucknose - please do it!

ItsInTheSpoon Sun 02-Jun-19 19:08:40

I hope karma bites those abusive exes

Simonfromharlow Sun 02-Jun-19 20:20:53

We can use this thread to rant and laugh at our exes maybe

nannytothequeen Mon 03-Jun-19 00:11:58

Even three years down the line I still find it hard to believe that he did what he did. He has treated me the worst he has treated anyone - the mother of this children and the person to whom he made promises. There is a little hard place inside me that I fear will never defrost. And I feel l can never talk about it to anyone, if nothing else because when I have tried I've been told I am bitter. It makes me so cross - of course I am bloody bitter!

Borris Mon 03-Jun-19 00:19:15

🙋‍♀️ I’m in.

NotBeingRobbed Mon 03-Jun-19 00:19:54

What’s wrong with being bitter if you have been badly treated? That’s just a phrase people use to brush everything under the carpet.

Finally after 18months I am trying to put this behind me and move on.

Startoftheyear2019 Mon 03-Jun-19 00:38:40

@nannytothequeen you've summed up how I feel better than anyone ever has - thanks!

Startoftheyear2019 Mon 03-Jun-19 00:44:21

I have been so unfairly treated and it goes round my head in a loop sometimes. I'm not sure I can ever get over it. I hate him so much and in every interaction he does whatever he can to dig the knife in. I wish I didn't care but I do. He's got money, the 10 year younger OW (with no children so of course she can make him feel fabulous and cherished) and the DC don't seem to hold him to account (well my dd does but the ds's don't so much). He left the marriage, he had an affair, he racked up debts. But I'm the one who has to be strong and carry on. I hate this!!!!

nannytothequeen Mon 03-Jun-19 02:00:16

Indeed Star. I hear ya! And I am sick of being told off for not moving on. I am. At my own pace. I really really think you have to have been there to know how this affects you. 6 months after everything fell apart for me a colleague complained about me to my boss about how I had changed and when was I going to get over this. So I pulled her up big time. Her response was to write a formal complaint and try and get me sacked. Supportive, eh? Turned out she knew about him and the OW all along. I guess what I am trying to say is that the pain is difficult to appreciate if you have never experienced it. Loss AND betrayal. Anyone who still regards him as a friend is no longer a friend of mine. I didn't make anyone choose. I chose for them and I was very clear about that. I had a scorched earth policy on this!! I have been consistently told that this is an unreasonable approach but I don't care - it's simple and I don't have to worry about who is saying what to whom.

ItsInTheSpoon Mon 03-Jun-19 05:58:10

@nannytothequeen yes, you are quite right about the friends - there is only pain to be gained in spending time with people who support the ex, why would you put yourself through that?!

Simonfromharlow Mon 03-Jun-19 08:07:52

I can understand those feelings and I can understand why you would feel bitter. It's unfair. Our lives have been totally changed by the actions of 1 person who was acting in their own self interest.

I'm not divorced yet but have gone through every emotion going since we split. People try and be sympathetic but unless they have been there they don't understand.

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