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STBXH planning to take DC from school

(5 Posts)
Itisatoughone Tue 23-Apr-19 19:24:40

I have NC as this OP together with previous OPs would be outing.
STBXH left 8 months ago. He was emotionally, mentally and financially abusive. Two DC 3 and 9. 11years 9 months of marriage. No childcare arrangements made.

I have always been the primary carer. I work 3 days a week and every 5th weekend. STBXH works 5 - 7 days a week. He travels frequently for work and also personal concerns. He has travelled 7 times since separation..6 were for work. He travels without notice and never informs me that he is away. Each time I only find out by accident. He has the DC at his place whenever he asks to have them. Even when he asks at 1pm on the Saturday to have the DC for the weekend.

2 weeks ago STBXH decided he wants DC to live with him 50:50. He has roped in his DM and an AuPair for childcare.
We have failed to agree on an arrangement. I contacted mediation, 1st appointment is in 3 weeks. In the last 2 weeks, STBXH has insisted on having the children from the end of the school term (just finished). I have insisted we need the help of mediation.
Last night, I was informed by a close friend of STBXH's that while out yesterday, STBXH bought school uniforms and intends to go to the school tomorrow and pick DC and have DC at his from tomorrow onwards.
I had a very quick call with solicitor who says he has PR so can do that.
STBXH just wants to do what he wants. He is not open to negotiation especially once he knows..thinks...suspects..it is coming from me.
Throughout the marriage I have had to do as he wanted. I feel like he is forcing what he wants. And I feel helpless to do anything. I know the kids will be safe with him, so why am i physically hurting that he could do this...and get away with it?

From your own experiences, what do you think are my options?

OP’s posts: |
Itistimeandiamscared Wed 24-Apr-19 20:44:12

Hi, itisatoughone.
Apologies - I don't really have any good advice but I didn't want to read and run.
What happened today?

helpmum2003 Wed 24-Apr-19 20:52:05

Hope today went better than you thought.

What do the kids think?

Does he live nearby?

Zerrin13 Fri 03-May-19 21:38:45

Do you think he is doing this to get out of paying you maintenance or does he genuinely miss them so much he wants shared custody? I woukd be furious!
If he needs his Mum and an aupair to look after them what is the point of it?

RomanyQueen1 Fri 03-May-19 21:43:04

It looks like you are going to have to take him to court and get a court order.
Until then, I guess he can do as he likes.
I would be mad too, get a solicitor sorted, asap.
Are you able to prove his unreasonable and abusive behaviour? If so you could contact ss if you are worried.

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