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How do people manage...

(10 Posts)
DidThis45 Mon 22-Apr-19 22:15:06

H wants a divorce, I'm devestated by this news. It's horrible, he has removed his wedding ring and we no longer speak just grunt at each other. It's so sad, if someone had told me in March that this was going to happen I would have had no idea. How do people manage with living in the same house whilst sadly this is all going on?

OP’s posts: |
CatyaPurella Mon 22-Apr-19 23:10:07

We are in a similar situation but it wasn’t him that ended it. We told the children in October and we are still here. Nisi in hand & waiting the last few weeks for the house sale to go through. It’s been tough I won’t lie but I am focusing on what lies ahead and being positive for the sake of the children but it’s hard hiding the frustration. Will he not leave?

stucknoue Tue 23-Apr-19 05:28:31

Someone let me know. It's actually pleasant here atmosphere wise but I'm miserable inside hence stalking Mumsnet at 5 o'clock in the morning. We have grown up kids one lives at home so ideally we stay put for 2 years and he has said I can keep the house if I change take over the mortgage though I don't earn enough yet

DidThis45 Tue 23-Apr-19 06:22:16

H will only leave if we take a mortgage holiday which I am refusing to do, yes it would give me and my DC enotional space but we would still be left here in the same house etc no chance to move on. I'm worried sick about so many things, where we are going to live, I can't get a mortgage to help cover a new home which provides no security for us. H is a high earner with pension etc. H arrived with nothing and would be leaving with a very healthy deposit, he can easily get on with his life. I can't eat, sleep only for a couple of hours and then I am wide awake lying in darkness. I"m trying to sort things but keep being blocked. No idea what to do next, I feel anxious and stressed.

OP’s posts: |
millymollymoomoo Tue 23-Apr-19 07:11:06

What do you mean by being blocked?

See a solicitor, start proceedingss, claim ancillary relief if applicable, u derstand some possible outcomes so you can more forward from a position of knowledge.

DidThis45 Tue 23-Apr-19 07:37:18

By blocked I mean solutions to moving on, house valuations are done, assuming 50/50 split I can't get enough of a mortgage to buy a house. H can. I don't know what to do next. Living like this is horrible. What is meant by anciliary relief?

OP’s posts: |
millymollymoomoo Tue 23-Apr-19 07:49:19

It’s a claim fir financial support whilst undergoing a divorce if you need it

Do you have children? If so what are the arrangements likely to be. Remember, everything goes in the pot to be split and it will be based on needs not wants. If there are children involved and you are the primary carer plus lower paid you could end up with higher than 50% share.

Have you seen a solicitor?

millymollymoomoo Tue 23-Apr-19 07:50:12

Sorry I see you do have children.

Itsallchange Tue 23-Apr-19 07:55:54

Do you mean take a payment holiday so he would have the funds to rent somewhere? I’m currently going through a divorce and when I first made the decision I was adamant to sell the FH and then split the equity and pay off the debts, and go into a rented property. After seeing the solicitor and assessing the options the only thing I can do is stay in the family home with a Mesher order, which although not happy with my H has agreed, he is still here whilst mortgage goes through with a view to renting. Definitely get some legal advice I had 30 mins free initially which really helped. Go with all your financial information to get the best out of the appointment. Good luck

Itsallchange Tue 23-Apr-19 07:56:31

Sorry not whilst mortgage goes through whilst divorce goes through

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