Going through a separation at the moment under quite horrible circumstances (recently found out husband had cheated years back. Don’t feel I can ever forgive give him due to the nature of it).
Currently it’s just a separation though, to give me time to figure things out. It’s been a complete shock and previous to this we had 17 very happy years. We’re about 2 months into the whole thing and living apart.
Have had 2 events recently where i’ve socialised with people I haven’t met before and I have ended up talking about my life and my husband as if I’m not separated. Not lying or anything but talking about my life without any acknowledgement of the fact I’m separated. For example....
‘Yes, we have 3 kids and my husband works as a candlestick maker....’.
Or
‘oh yes, we (my husband and I) like to go to that pub too’.
Feel a bit confused about the whole thing. It feels so good to talk about my life as if none of this shit show is happening.
I also feel overwhelmingly sad when the conversation is over because it’s a reminder of my life before I found out about his cheating (not an affair as such).
Mostly, of course, I just don’t want to discuss my personal life with anyone except close friends (and, obviously, strangers on MN), but I feel like a complete fraud.
This is hard enough with people i’ve never met but I’m really worried about similar conversations with people who know us as a couple but don’t know what’s happening.
How do people tend to handle this early in a separation?
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Divorce/separation
Early in separation - what to say to people?
15 replies
MissTerryLady · 10/04/2019 03:31
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