Just looking for a bit of a hand hold really and any advice from anyone going through the same thing.
My DH and I are divorcing and I can't afford to buy him out of our home. He can't afford to stay in our home without me so the short story is our lovely home which we have spent years renovating will have to be put up for sale.
I'm so gutted knowing I'll have to leave this place, it's the only place I've ever truly felt at home. It's all so sad. I walk around out home in the evenings and look at all the things we have done to make this place our home, the decorating decisions, the time and energy we put into this place and the dreams we both had of having a family here one day.
I won't be able to afford to buy anything near as nice as our matrimonial home. And won't be able to buy anywhere in such a nice location. It is what it is, I don't want to sound spoilt, I'm just grieving the loss of not only my marriage but also my lifestyle and surroundings.
We are get to work out our finances and what will happen in our consent order. Luckily we do not have children. Luckily I have a reasonably good job so with my borrowing potential and hopefully having a reasonable deposit from the divorce I should be able to purchase somewhere new for myself, if that's what I want to do.
The "first world problem" I'm facing is that I really don't know what to do. The truth is I don't really want to live anywhere else. If I purchase somewhere it will be a flat in a bit so nice area. In many ways I'm very lucky and I know this, but this is a space we can all share our fears and true feelings and this is just how I'm feeling today during this one day at a time journey.
How has everyone else handled the loss of their home?
What has everyone in a similar situation to me done?
Have you all purchased your own flats? Have you managed to find happiness in your new homes which are so much less lovely than where you used to live whilst married?
A part of me feels like buying somewhere is such a huge commitment, should I just rent somewhere for a year, but that's a huge waste of money surely if I could buy somewhere. But I worry about the future and if I'm honest my work has been suffering due to how upset I am all the time. What if I take on a mortgage on my own and then lose my job?!? Then what if I was to meet someone new down the and I'm the stuck in a mortgage etc. I could do a house share but I'm not sure if that would just depress me, like it would be a massive step backwards.
As you can tell my head is all over the place. Truth is I'm just very frightened.
It would be lovely to hear any advice or positive stories or just hear from others who are also feeling as I am.
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Divorce/separation
Coping with losing your home
17 replies
NextChapter2019 · 07/04/2019 21:42
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