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Any other adults with divorced families struggle with balancing all the commitments?

(3 Posts)
EmrysAtticus Mon 01-Apr-19 14:53:46

You are right robbed. I think I struggle to see it like that as I don't get on with my family so it very much feels like a burden, I get nothing from them other than work and emotional blackmail. One set of ILs are fine but the other aren't good either (DH agrees with me entirely I'm not being unfair). Both of us dread a lot of the visits.

They do all love DS however so I should try and focus on that!

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NotBeingRobbed Mon 01-Apr-19 13:48:15

I’d say you are very lucky! My children have no surviving grandparents, an uncle who despises them and their only cousins are 30 years older than them. We have almost no family left. Their father doesn’t see them. I also have very little family to support me - only a couple of cousins who stay in touch. Surely you can see as little or as much of your family as you choose? Maybe set some boundaries but you are blessed.

EmrysAtticus Mon 01-Apr-19 11:46:59

My parents divorced when I was small and my DH's parents divorced when he was around 10/11 (not 100% sure on the exact age). They have all since remarried and in my mum's case went on to have more children.

The divorce didn't really both me as a child, it was my normal and I just got on with it. DH was a bit more affected as he was older but moved on from it once he was in his teens. Neither of us are upset now that our parents are divorced.

What I am finding utterly exhausting however is how much of our time gets taken up with family commitments now. We have double the 'normal' number of parents plus almost double the 'normal' number of grandparents. We have DS who is 3 and of course they all want to see him regularly. It has reached a point where about half of our weekends are taken up with having family visiting us (they all live a few hours away so have to stay at least one night) or us visiting family as once you have factored in four sets of parents, four sets of grandparents, five siblings and then I have an aunt who has no children so I have to include her too it's taking up so much time.

It also of course costs a fortune at Christmas and birthdays and unfortunately we are the only ones with a DC so we can't say children only at this point.

Not sure what this will achieve just feel the need for a rant that we can't just see most of our families in one go and then be free for a month or two but instead have to see so many of them separately. Am I the only one who feels like this? I feel far more resentful of mine and DH's parents for divorcing now that I am an adult than I did as a child!

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