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Start of separation. I'm lost

(7 Posts)
Grammarist Tue 26-Mar-19 06:01:52

After things have escalated massively DH and I have decided that he reeds to move out. Neither of us really 100% want it but we're just not working and it's affecting the children.

He says he's moving out next week if he can find somewhere.

Thing is. We can't afford this.
I need advice as suddenly I'm going to have to find hundreds of pounds out of thin air.

Where do I start?
Who do I go and speak to?
I'm so lost.

OP’s posts: |
Sausagemash Tue 26-Mar-19 06:16:51

So sorry you're going through this. Recently gone through the same and the first week was sheer panic.
First of all get your council tax reduced to get your single discount plus anything other reduction you're entitled to. Apply online then you'll get an appointment to go into the office to check ID etc.
Then go online to check what you're entitled to, website has links to two benefit checkers. If it looks like you're entitled then apply. Again online then an appointment afterwards to check evidence (bank statements etc).
If you have a mortgage ring and see if you can get a mortgage holiday for a couple of months until you find your feet. Check your direct debits and cancel any unnecessary ones, sky TV etc.
I did all the above and out the other side, it's daunting and emotional but be strong and you can do this.
Citizens advice was useful but they didn't tell me anything other than the above. However depends on your situation.
Small steps and look after yourselfflowers

Grammarist Tue 26-Mar-19 07:28:46

Thank you. Currently sat on the bus to work in a total daze and trying not to cry.

OP’s posts: |
Sausagemash Tue 26-Mar-19 07:50:45

Can you take any time off work?

Kaleidoscoping Tue 26-Mar-19 07:55:47

It is so hard, I’m so sorry. I’ve done this but without kids - agree with Sausagemash, definitely try and get the mortgage holiday if you can and cancel outstanding direct debits. If you and OH are amicable, would he be willing to support some running costs while you both find your feet?

Have you got any practical support around you? Just someone who would be happy to bring round a couple of meals or have your children for a few hours while you get a few bits sorted out?

All the best, it’s horribly tough but you can and will get through it.

Grammarist Tue 26-Mar-19 10:39:53

I'm pretty much on my own and now have a potential logistical nightmare as DH takes our DC to school in the mornings and I go in the opposite direction. I don't drive so that complicates things further

OP’s posts: |
Kaleidoscoping Tue 26-Mar-19 18:27:47

I’m so sorry. A few options might be...
can you get signed off work until the Easter holidays to tide you over?
Ask the school if there are any other local parents who might be able to help out in the short term?
Agree a longer term plan with DH that keeps the children’s best interests in mind - sounds like you both care a great deal for them in this situation so hopefully he could find a compromise too?

If you have a Restored Lives course in your area I would totally recommend going along - it’s often run by churches but is non-faith specific. Lots of people who are separated or divorcing and a chance to chat through real issues and seek advice from others who’ve been there.

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