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Ok so is it f**ked up to be ok?(9 Posts)
Ok so after the initial wtf of finding out my ex had cheated and booting him out, I find myself surprisingly ok, I'm happy, had my do done, got my eyebrows done, and my first foray into the worldof POF was surprisingly successful, I have been talking to a really nice guy for 2 weeks 😊 I haven't fallen apart, I am not fixating on what my ex is doing. He has introduced the OW to his family, and I was ok with it, we are still friends, and I have genuinely forgiven him for what he has done to me. I still get a bit pissed off at things he's doing now, but nothing unreasonable and it's honestly just been about stuff as it comes up that neither of us thought about in a new situation, and it's been easily addressed. I have even suggested meeting up with his new partner, although I think the fact that I am being so calm has her worried lol. We are still a long way off my 6 year old meeting her, but in time I will be ok with that too, its more making sure hes not getting attached to someone who isnt going to be arpund long term than anything elae.
Everyone is telling me how angry they are with him, and they are a bit baffled as to how well I am moving on. I'm not having a psychotic break I have just realised that I am happy he's not here anymore, and in the worst possible way, this is the best thing that could have happened to me at this point in my life.
Am I setting myself up for a fall here thinking I'm ok, or is there some messed up denial thing going on here and I'm going to wake up one morning and not be able to get out of bed...which by the way is so big and comfy with just me in it 😁
Set your own timeline, and just be honest with yourself. You sound like you're doing that, so have fun 👍🏻
Perhaps you weren't as happy in the relationship as you thought you were at the time. Be mindful that things might change, but for now, enjoy being happy!
Of course that's not fucked up. Sounds like the relationship was over before he cheated and it's been a release to be out of it. Good news all round as long as DC is ok.
Every now and then you see posts from women who are in miserable relationships who say, I wish he’d just cheat and leave for someone else, so that they have a way out.
If you were both unhappy then, without necessarily realising it, and you are both happy now, then I guess everything has worked out ok, and it’s ok to be ok with that!
Whatever you’re feeling is valid. If you feel this way now then all well and good, don’t think you have to follow a set path or act in a certain way for others. Just take it a day at a time, some days we feel great, other days just ‘meh’.
All the best for the future.
I think you were probably a lot unhappier than you ever admitted to yourself and this is the real you - relieved it's over, ready for a fresh start. Just go with it.
FWIW after I finally booted out my alcoholic H, the relief was incredible - not just for me but also for our DDs. The house was instantly a lighter and happier place. Sometimes the end of a relationship is a good and necessary thing.
I am OK. I cried twice and that was mainly at the thought if the sheer undertaking of moving out etc.. since I moved out I've been so happy. It feels like I can breathe for the first time in a long time. I'd been disengaged emotionally a long time so was so ready to go... it's hard and my divorce will be anything but amicable but I'm taking it step by step and enjoying the spaces in-between. So it's definitely ok to be ok!
I'm ok too. More than ok.
I didn't realise how unhappy I was (I thought I was just an unhappy person - thought I had compartmentalised the shit marriage).
I'm not ready for another LTR....I feel so free for the first time ever and I don't want to fall for the wrong person again.
I have my home (for the moment) and better relationship with friends and family because I have more energy and time.
I regret ever meeting my STBEXH but I can't regret our relationship in a way because I feel so high now it's over!
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