sorry if long, but don't want to drip feed...
Been married 18 years.
15 years ago, whilst pg, I became permanantly physically disabled.
ds (14) has asd, dd (11) is being assessed for asd also.
Whilst all living together after kids were born I didn't work but I did all the housework cooking and childcare, and paid for our food with my DLA.
H paid for (joint) mortgage (£450pcm) out of his £23K wage which went into 'his' account'. He made it clear he resented it.
The marriage has been unhappy for 15 years. We've had separate rooms. H acts like a distant uncle with me and kids - no real sense of responsibility and resents playing a part in family life.
2 years ago we agreed I would move, temporarily, to see if neighbouring area better for kids for diagnosis (yes) and schooling (yes). H stayed in our house and was to follow if it proved better. Meanwhile H paid for the house which he stayed in and I paid all costs my end. He doesn't pay maintenance.
I went fulltime last year but it has proved too much for my health and kids needs and I'm having to look for a new job as pt not possible.
So H has suggested before I do I apply for a mortgage in my own name.
His sister has offered to lend up to 3K if needed.
Then he says we can sell the family house and with what is left (less than £30K if we are very lucky) he can use that as deposit and get his own mortgage for a flat near where kids and I might be living.
I don't particularly want to move back to family home where we were so unhappy but I feel like his sister (no love lost) and he are pressuring me. What if i agree then get stuck with a big mortgage and am not well enough to work to pay it?
Is it just me or are the pieces being moved on the chess board?
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Divorce/separation
Help: Am i being manipulated?
9 replies
StripeyChina · 07/03/2019 14:25
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