H and I separated last May. He began an affair about a year ago which is ongoing. H lives in our camper and spends a few nights at hers. I am in the house which is in my name and for which I am responsible with our 12 yo. At times we have been finanicially equal (both having some inheritance) but he has been irresponsible and that is no longer the case. We have always kept our finances separate. However the house has gone up, in value since I bought it so he is at least entitles to half that in my mind. While living here he paid ‘board’. He is self employed and could not get a mortgage on his own so would have to rent or buy with OW.
I have been trying to establish what sort of settlement he wants. In the early stages he mentioned having a few thousand from me (I would remortgage to pay this) to throw in with her to buy somewhere (they cooled things for a while but are now seeing each other again), or being entitled to something when our son is 18. Now though he refuses point blank to discuss it and says he doesn’t want anything at all.
He refuses to contribute to our child or our dogs (which we share) because he is not asking for anything from me. If I ask, he will say you keep trying to give me money just knock it off what you think I am entitled to!
I have been giving some thought to this. Could we agree to him making no claim and in exchange he pays no maintenance? Is this something a Court would ever agree to on divorce? I am also prepared sign over the camper so he would have that to sell in due course if he wishes. I think he is waiting to see how things play out with OW before making any plans.
Anyone done something similar? Any thoughts?
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Divorce/separation
Finances - no lump sum in exchange for no maintenance?
39 replies
Purplejay · 24/02/2019 15:02
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