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New normal

(6 Posts)
thistooshallpass2018 Sun 17-Feb-19 09:07:00

He left a week ago yesterday so I know it's really early days. I spent last weekend really upset but have had an OK week, I've been to work as normal and kept some form of routine for dd. I've sorted all the finances out and taken him off everything that I need to and we have a contact plan in place ensuring that dd sees him as much as possible. I feel generally OK and quite positive making plans for the future etc.
My question is when does it all start to feel normal like the house feels odd and I feel like I'm waiting for something. I feel quite lonely at night and this is the time the feels the most strange I just crave for it to be normal rather than me pretending to myself that it's normal.

OP’s posts: |
PleaseSayItGetsBetter Sun 17-Feb-19 20:43:39

I know what you feel like. I'm in a similar situation. Feeling relatively strong (or maybe just numb) and angry but just getting on with things.

I do feel proud of myself getting through each day without breaking down but I know I'm in a holding pattern but no idea for how long. There are some thoughts that are too big to go into (about what the future will be).

I think keeping a routine and small steps are key. x

Angrybird123 Sun 17-Feb-19 21:27:38

It takes time because at the moment everything is the same except minus him. There's a space, a hole. As time goes on you'll rearrange furniture, redecorate or move house, your routines will change and you and your DD will become a little unit. You'll do new things that you never did with him so there won't be that space. It's all v v new and you're doing spectacularly well to be upright, eating and working. One day at a time x

BringMeAGinAndTonic Mon 18-Feb-19 02:37:33

I felt lonely at night for a long time. I'd keep the radio on in the background so as to not feel so lonely. It helped. I didn't feel like no one was here.

Over time it gets easier because each day gets farther from how it used to be. It's hard at first but will get less lonely and you'll notice the hole less. I think what helped is the radio at first, time, knowing I am staying strong/keeping going and working out. Even if it's just a 15 minute walk, it makes me feel confident.

Hope things get better for you soon.

ErrmWTAF Mon 18-Feb-19 04:25:33

I agree about filling in the hole. Make new memories. Rearrange some furniture. Buy new bedlinens that YOU like, without reference to a.n.man. Do some spring cleaning. Pick a thing you couldn't do/eat/watch with him around and enjoy it.

thistooshallpass2018 Sat 02-Mar-19 09:50:29

Thanks for the replies. I feel like we are getting there a bit now although I have had the last couple of days of work because I hit a real low, I think the adrenaline wore off and the realisation that this has actually happened hit me. I'm trying to staff positive but it's so hard sometimes.
I'm fed up of thinking about it all but then also can't stop thinking about it all lol.
I actually know that in some ways we are already happier and in the future will be far far happier but finding my new normal will take time u suppose

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