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advice re house transfer

(7 Posts)
newstart18 Sat 09-Feb-19 23:30:27

I am still living in same house as my ex and 3 children. We broke up November 2017, he had a breakdown afterwards and has been on anti depressants, I thought right thing to do was to not force him out and we had to sell the house. He didn’t want to sell house until mortgage ended in July 2018. In between this he has been verbally abusive regularly, slamming walls and being generally horrible. House went on market in may 2018, too high sale price, eventually knocked down to eight price and we had an offer in August. At same time I got a promotion and could now afford to buy him out and keep family home for Children’s sake. Also the financial order was rejected in September on grounds of it not being fair in my favour relating to his sizeable pension. I had already stated I didn’t want any of his pension before papers were submitted, thinking it would alleviate atmosphere. Since then I had my mortgage secured 5 months ago and Absolute came through in Oct 2018.
He was as predicted very bitter I could buy the house and has been more abusive since, saying he couldn’t move out as needed money to buy a new property. He has at least 40k in savings, also which I am not receiving any off so no reason he can’t move.
He wanted the order rewritten to reflect I’m buying it so last few months have been trying to get that rewritten. In December he decided he didn’t want to wait for the order and we should go ahead with sale, I agreed as desperate for an end to this for kids sake and mine and his. Christmas was again lots of shouting from him. Post this I got house moving . Last week he went hits over kids lunchboxes and threw one at me, pushed me and used kitchen door to push me out of the room. I went to my solicitor the next day and he said an anti molestation order may not be given on these grounds and wrote a letter instead saying as per completion date of 13th feb he had to be out of the house once he receives his lump sum payment. I spent the next night in a friends with the children as I’m scared of him and wanted them out of the way of him.

He won’t say what stage any new house is at, so I believe he intends to get money on Wednesday and move at some later stage.

The financial order is still not submitted; pending his signature, that states he has until 1st March to move out if not before. I am concerned that it’s way too late to get this submitted; processed and approved in a timescale for March 1st so in my head that date is null and void and the order could also be rejected again, leaving me god knows where.

My question in short term is, if he gets cash on Wednesday and doesn’t go anywhere, what can I do? My solicitor I think is less than brilliant as I’m getting nowhere and in light of last week don’t feel it was taken seriously enough, with reply from his solicitor, which didn’t deny it took place but basically said it was my fault.

It’s a nightmare and affecting my children and my work. It’s suppose to be 50/50 custody which makes me feel sick.

Thanks for reading.

OP’s posts: |
Weenurse Sat 09-Feb-19 23:34:03

No advice but here to hand hold and send hugs 💐

Lonecatwithkitten Sun 10-Feb-19 07:35:33

I am surprised the solicitor to report the assault to the police. It would seem that his behaviour is escalating and putting you at risk.
Secondly I am surprised the solicitor is suggesting you give him money without a financial order in place, what's to prevent him frittering the money away and then going after more.

TooTragicToBeFunny Sun 10-Feb-19 07:39:51

He assisted you. My solicitor would have (and has done) told me to call 999. You can’t have a man like that in the house.

TooTragicToBeFunny Sun 10-Feb-19 07:40:04


TooTragicToBeFunny Sun 10-Feb-19 07:41:38

I also don’t see why or how a court order can be rewritten. So you got a pay rise. And? He’s got his pension and £40k. Plus by the sound of it residency can’t possibly be 50:50 due to him being a raving psycho.

eyesbiggerthanstomach Sun 10-Feb-19 08:00:17

Presumably when you give him the money on Weds transfer of title of the house will take place as well.

Assuming that is what will happen the next question is do you have decree absolute yet?

If yes, upon transfer of the property on Weds he will lose his rights of occupation and has to be out.

If no and you are still married technically then he still has rights of occupation as your husband so doesn't even have to leave.

As difficult as the situation is I would strongly advise that you do not pay him his lump sum until the consent order is approved. He hasn't even signed it yet and what incentive will there be for him to do so once he has his money? If he changes his mind, your property is still then up for grabs as you have no consent order in place.

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