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Is this fair?

(13 Posts)
NextChapter2019 Sat 02-Feb-19 13:22:34

Hi everyone
First time posting in this section.
I separated from my DH a few weeks ago and am planning on filing for divorce in the coming weeks based on his unreasonable behaviour (abusive relationship amongst other issues).
We have been married for 3 years and together 9 years in total.

We have had an initial conversation about finances and I would really appreciate everyone's thoughts.

Our only real matrimonial asset is our home. It's now worth about 650k and we purchased it about 5 years ago for £450 then renovated.

When we bought our house I had no savings so my DH paid all of the deposit (about £130k) from the sale of his flat he had before we were together. From the sale proceeds of his flat he also put in an additional 50k towards the renovations and his parents gifted us both a further 50k to help us renovate the house. Over the past years I've paid about 5k towards the renovations.

DH thinks that a fair split of our home's value once sold would be;

Mortgage repaid (£330k)
He gets back his deposit (130k)
He gets back the 50k extra he put in (as this was all from the sale of his flat)
Then we split the remaining equity 50/50

For content I have paid half the mortgage since May last year and before that (when I earned less) I paid 35% he paid 65%.

If I agree to his suggestion on what he thinks is fair I would walk away with approximately 60k. Enough for me to have a nice deposit for my own flat as I now earn decent money

Or, as we are married and the starting point for division is 50/50 should I push for more. 50% of the equity could be about 150k.

I'm morally torn. If I didn't have him I wouldn't have even had this house. I had nothing, I put nothing in. But I don't want to screw myself and legally I can push for more.

What would you all do? Keep it amicable and walk away with enough to start again or ignore morals and go for what the law says.

We do not have any children so this would be a clean break by consent order.

Thanks for any advice xx

OP’s posts: |
Phillipa12 Sat 02-Feb-19 13:50:04

Morally i think what he has suggested is fair, however i would be asking him to foot both solicitors fees for the divorce.

NorthernSpirit Sat 02-Feb-19 14:28:42

IMO - I don’t think you’re entitled morally to 50%.

It’s a short 3 year marriage.

He paid the deposit - £130k

He paid an additional £50K

His parents girted you £50K

You only put in £5k for the renovations and only since May last year have you paid half of the mortgage.

I think it’s a generous offer. You went in with nothing and come out with £60k.

millymollymoomoo Sat 02-Feb-19 15:48:20

You’re not necessarily legally entitled to 50%. You’re legally entitled to a fair share

Do you have children? If not, what he is suggesting is fair

NextChapter2019 Sat 02-Feb-19 21:09:16

Thank you everyone, I do think you are all right and morally probably the right thing to do

OP’s posts: |
Walkingdeadfangirl Sat 02-Feb-19 22:44:07

Short marriage, no kids & you only paid half the mortgage since last year. I think in court everyone would get back what they put in and a fair split would probably leave you with £40k (probably a lot less with lawyers fees).

So £60k is a good offer (assuming house sells for £650,000).

AnneLovesGilbert Mon 04-Feb-19 16:28:54

His offer seems very fair.

notnotnee Mon 04-Feb-19 16:34:45

My ex came with nothing, gave me £100 a week for 3.5 years married. House was in my sole name and no mortgage.
He was awarded £75K and cost me £15K in solicitors fees.
He knew what he could get and fought for it.

sollyfromsurrey Tue 05-Feb-19 00:09:24

His offer is fair. It is splitting the 50k his parents gave with you. That £25k is much more than the £5k + 1 year of mortgage contributions you have made. No one should be waking away winning the other loses. You will come out with more than you put in and he will come out with at least what he put in but not all that his parents put in. He's being generous

NotBeingRobbed Tue 05-Feb-19 00:16:41

His poor parents must be kicking themselves. I wonder how long it took them to save that money that you are now merrily walking away with?

supergrains Thu 07-Feb-19 11:18:18

I think you need to ask a solicitor

KimberleyCatuk Thu 07-Feb-19 19:24:37

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Catamapella Sun 10-Feb-19 08:05:10

I'm in a similar position to your husband, however, I have a young child with my husband.

We got together 7 years ago, bought a house together 5 years ago, got married 3 years ago.

The house was bought in both our names but the large deposit (over 50% value of the house) was paid for from my savings. Husband contributed nothing to the deposit. We split mortgage payments 50/50 from the get go. We have similar incomes.

He filed for divorce last year, after 2 years of marriage, and wanted a 50/50 split of the value of the house minus the mortgage. I thought the approach your husband suggested would be fairer, for me to buy him out with half of the increase in the value of the house (minus the mortgage and minus the deposit). This would have provided my husband with enough money to put down a deposit on a house for him to have our child 50/50.

We ended up going to court because we could not agree on the split of the house. The judge at the FDR (second) hearing suggested a 60/40 split of the value of the house minus the mortgage, in my favour. This felt extremely unfair to me as in total I contributed around 90% of the money that has gone into the house (entire deposit plus half of all monthly payments) and he has contributed around 10% (half of all monthly payments).

However, I have significant savings that the judge suggested I would keep (although in reality I am having to pay these to my husband to buy him out of the house). My husband has very little savings, and they do not cover his legal costs.

Going to a final hearing would cost thousands of pounds more, and the judge at the final hearing could have ordered a 50/50 split on the house and my savings. It was not a risk I was willing to take, and we have now settled on a 60/40 split of the house minus mortgage, I keep my savings (although I've decided to use them to buy him out so I can stay in the house), and no sharing of pensions etc as we weren't married for long and are young.

It's worth knowing that my legal fees were around £10,000 and his were around £30,000, so if the difference between what you and your husband want is less than this, it is probably not worth taking to court.

I'm not sure if this is helpful as having a child together makes the court view the split of assets differently, but just wanted to offer my experience.

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