Solicitors help

[Nj1208]

Hi,

I am going through a divorce and my stbxh and his partner are constantly contacting me chasing up if I will agree his proposals and making demands when it comes to my daughters routine etc. I have already paid a lump sum to my solicitor for the divorce but is there any way my divorce solicitor can help with this? These are not nasty things but so stressful and it is overtaking my life and my life at home with my partner. Don’t know where to turn anymore. I can’t affoed any more legal fees

Thanks

[WetWipesGoInTheBin]

Find yourself a family mediator and request that your stbexH goes to mediation. You have to pay for the sessions jointly but it's much cheaper than solicitors fees. It ranges from £120 to £160 a session. If you cannot be in the room with him request shuttle mediation but that costs twice as much.

You want to draw up a parenting plan you both stick to and for the first year get him to agree to stick to the plan as laid out. You also have to do this as well.

Before you go to your first mediation session research for information online on parenting plans and what to include. Also work out your child's routine and when she lives with both of you now. The parenting plan should extend from this. So if for example she sees her dad one night a week and every other weekend in term time then that's what you want in the parenting plan. If you haven't worked out how to deal with something for example school holidays ask around the people who are divorced or separated with children what they do and come up with something that is fair for your child. The parenting plan is for the best interests of the child and not about what is best for either of you. This means you have work at ensuring she sees both of you consistently and when she sees both of you is easy for her to understand.

Only if you cannot agree can you go to arbitration or family court. If you do get a plan agreed and written up but your ex refuses to follow it for the first year as agreed, then again you can go to arbitration or court to get it legally enforced.