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Divorce/separation

Stuck. So depressed

8 replies

louisejenkins · 04/01/2019 16:46

It’s quiet complicated but I’ll explain it the best I can. I broke up with my ex partner the dad to my children a year ago (think stress of money kids etc caused us to argue a lot even though we loved each other and were together 8 years), and got with somebody else I work with very quick after who I liked before we broke up, it was all good to begin with, but I fell pregnant not planned and just it all fell apart guess its made me feel stuck in the relationship now, I miss my ex so much I’m constantly depressed I miss the whole family we had aswell now the kids are between us, it’s just so hard I cry all the time. I’m 5 months pregnant I originally had 2 abortions booked early on but kept bottling them I couldn’t go through with it, now I’m stuck. I feel trapped I just wish I could have the life I use to have it breaks my heart.

Please don't judge me I know I really messed up I just don't see where I can from here, guess I'm looking for someone with similar experience? I know nobody can give me a answer of the right thing to do.. I'm just so lost.

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diamondsand · 04/01/2019 17:16

Hi, sorry about your situation. It's very complicated because you are pregnant.

The more I talk to friends about end of the marriage, I understand that only ourselves know better than anyone else to make the decision. What I did that my family or friends don't agree but that's what I wanted and felt right to do so. Everyone's perception and value is different from others, you will have to clear your head and make decision.

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louisejenkins · 04/01/2019 17:48

Thankyou for replying... Yea its just so hard, I'm scared of making any more wrong choices and friends and family sometimes don't really help when there swayed to one way or another

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Lostlily · 04/01/2019 17:54

Hi
I'm not in angriest place myself after divorce but I do know that the divorce was right, if you were arguing all the time and it wasn't working, what makes you think it would be any better now?
It's a shame you got pregnant so quickly and it does make it very difficult for you to get out of your current situation.
You probably need some time away from both men,
Can your children stay with their dad and you go somewhere alone for a bit for some headspace?
A good friend or your parents?

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Itsnotme123 · 04/01/2019 17:57

Really sorry for your situation.
You say you are stuck in the relationship now. Has it gone sour ? I hope he’s being supportive.

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Lostlily · 04/01/2019 18:04

Angriest😅 That should have said 'best'

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louisejenkins · 04/01/2019 21:14

No he's still great, I left my ex thinking things would be better u know the whole grass is greener,we were going through tough times and there was issues between us that had been there for years such as I didn't trust him as he lied alot. before I was pregnant things were good. But I think once I got pregnant it kind of changed things, they became more cemented if you know what I mean, like it's not just a relationship now things alot more serious.

I just don't know what to do, Im scared of hurting my partner any more, just feel so confused ☹️

I suppose it doesn't help with only having my kids part time (we both have them half week each between us) I miss them so much finding it very difficult to adjust to still,

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YesMrsLevinson · 10/01/2019 23:38

You need to change your username. I'm sorry about your situation. It must be hard having your children part time, bring pregnant and going through that turmoil x

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Itsnotme123 · 11/01/2019 10:44

Your hormones are stopping you from thinking straight too. How about counselling as just talking it all through with someone could help you make sensible decisions.

It’s a ‘greener on the other side’ scenario too.. have the baby and you’ll have the responsibilities, don’t have the baby and you could regret that for the rest of your life. Which would make you stronger ? Which would be fair on the baby ? Which is best for you and your new partner ? Lots to chew over.

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