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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

Home after divorce

18 replies

nostaples · 26/12/2018 20:48

About to begin divorce proceedings. Can anyone help please? We have about 100k left on the mortgage for the family home in which I am living with my two children (husband left about a month ago and is renting a flat). I can afford the mortgage as it is on my own salary without husband's help. If the house is worth 300k could I remortgage so that I could give husband a 100k lump sum to buy him out? Not sure how this works. I could also offset my claim to his pension which will be significantly bigger than mine so that I could pay him less to buy him out of the house. No idea if this makes any sense and not sure if I could afford it but probably could. So grateful for any advice out there as very new to all this.

OP posts:

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nostaples · 27/12/2018 10:48

Nobody?

OP posts:

ISdads · 27/12/2018 10:51

Have you both valued your pensions yet? We are at stage zero of this, husband moving out soon, my pension is valued but his isn't. I am expecting to get house in exchange for not claiming on his pension, but we need to see pension value first.

Singlenotsingle · 27/12/2018 10:53

You really need a financial adviser to help you with this one. You're talking about doubling the mortgage and doubling the size of the mortgage repayments.

Suggest you see a solicitor to discuss the options. Good luck OP

bionicnemonic · 27/12/2018 11:01

I relinquished a pension share to keep things ‘straight’ about 15 years ago. I am now very much regretting it. Please get financial advice.

nostaples · 27/12/2018 11:06

Thanks both. Not valued pensions yet but this shouldn't be too difficult as both teachers' pensions. He is 55 and has paid into it since he was 23. I am 46 and have only 17 years pensionable service. Seeing a solicitor next week but want to have my ducks in a row first. We've only just separated. No immediate need to divorce but I suspect he will get into a new relationship soon (he's certainly trying hard enough), either with a much younger woman who may want to start a family or with a woman with children already but less well off than him or me. Also, I am likely to inherit at some point in the future and want all of this money to go to the children and not him and his new family. I'm therefore weighing up getting a clean break divorce sorted as soon as possible with waiting until there is a need/ the two years are up. I certainly have grounds for unreasonable behaviour on his part.

OP posts:

nostaples · 27/12/2018 11:07

Can/ does a solicitor provide this sort of financial advice? Or do I need to see a financial adviser?

OP posts:

lifebegins50 · 27/12/2018 11:33

The solicitor won't be able to advise on financials but give "guidance" on a fair split, based in previous cases.

Both pensions need to be valued, this could be a basic CETV (provided by pension provider) or a detailed valuation which you would pay for. The detailed would assess what is needed to give equality in pensions. This is more relevant if you had a money purchase and he had final salary as it's not an apples vs apples comparison so cetv would be too simple.

Once you have cetv then you can assess what figure you need to keep the house.
Why not speak to a mortgage advisor/broker who could give you a view on your likely mortgage raising ability. 200k could be a stretch.
Do you think the house value will be disputed? Your ex might ask for 3 valuations.
It could be argued that you need a larger share of assets because of child responsibilities but start from the 50:50 position.

On divorce proceedings, I started mine immediately (on advice of solicitor) and that seemed to cause Ex to get very hostile quickly. In reflection I would have resolved finances and then started proceedings to end the marriage. It may work for you if Ex wants to move on..he might be more generous! A bitter, rejected Ex tends to want to punish and often does so through finances.
Who has most knowledge on the finances today? Do you have access to savings?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 27/12/2018 11:33

I don't think you need a financial adviser just yet but you definitely need to get those pensions valued.

ISdads · 27/12/2018 12:21

His pension will be worth a fortune but very undervalued by the cetv. Even though you have a teachers pension as well, it still might be worth considering getting his valued by a 'vague idea of word' pension specialist

Why get a larger mortgage and pay him anything? He might end up owing you!

nostaples · 27/12/2018 12:42

Oh, gosh, it's so confusing. No savings. How would I go about the detailed CETV valuation then? Does dh have to co-operate with this?

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ISdads · 27/12/2018 12:47

Are you in any rush to remortgage etc? Is he still paying towards the mortgage?

Cetv. You get one a year for free. Tps takes about 3 months to do (just applied). Solicitor will advise about if it is worth your while then paying (you pay this, its about 1k or more) to have the valuation professionally scrutinised

(I am v much just beginning down this path so no expert)

nostaples · 27/12/2018 17:13

Thank you @ISdads no, I suppose there is no rush to remortgage. He is still paying into our joint account and it's four years until my eldest is 18 so I don't think there would be any pressure on me to sell the house until then. I suppose in my head, with the divorce, I just want everything settled and no future negotiations. Would it be possible to sort out everything else and delay making a decision about the house? What about pension? Would I still be in a position to offset my claim on his pension against the house in four years time? Of course by then, we will have paid off another big chunk of the mortgage as we're currently overpaying.
So grateful to people for replying and their insights as haven't really got anyone to talk to. Obviously I'm due to get legal advice but as they're being paid you can't trust their neutrality really.

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Palaver1 · 29/12/2018 07:51

Your inheritance depending on how much it will be is key can it be put into your children’s name instead of to you for the time being .
You can’t expect to get the pension and not give out of your inheritance
I’m going to fight not to touch his as I know he never saves didn’t believe in pensions al
Though we both had advice by a professional financial advisor years ago I had more sense and max out as well as having another one so I will fight for thisI did it because I was scared of the future with him as I knew he was a person who didn’t put aside for the rainy day ,years later found out he was a chronic gambler,He does have a flat he bought which he said would suffice for his pension.I don’t care for it just want my pension for my disabled daughter and myself in my old age.
Pensions are tricky .

ISdads · 29/12/2018 08:01

I was told the inheritance (which counts for nothing til you get it) would probably be allowed to remain separate if I got it after we separated, kept it separate, and also there was enough money between us to both be housed. It still worries me though as there are no guarantees.

I don't know. I need advice too. Ex moves out in new yeae then we will file then start financials. That's what I want too -keep house for four years then sell, agree split of pensions etc now and take it out of house sale in four years time. Who knows how it will work.out

nostaples · 29/12/2018 11:15

Thanks both. @ISdads are you a teacher too? Good luck and best wishes to all those going through separation and divorce. Every time I think things will be OK there seems to be a new blow. Plus sorting out the paperwork and money seems so fraught.

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ISdads · 29/12/2018 12:06

Mine is lgps, his is tps, but we both teach x

Jocasta2018 · 29/12/2018 13:48

Ok this is going to sound weird but....

Is the person from whom you are to inherit still alive? If so are they aware of your marital situation?
If both the above, could they amend their will so that you and children each get a set percentage of their estate?
I don't know if this would take your future inheritance out of your marital assets for divorce purposes. However, as named benefactors of an estate, the children's money should pass directly to them.

I'm neither a financial advisor nor a solicitor so the above could be just wishful thinking but it might be worth looking into.

AmyDowdensLeftLeftShoe · 29/12/2018 17:02

If he has a final salary pension don't give up your claim on it for a house. You can move somewhere smaller in 4 years but you don't want to be penniless and broke in old age especially if you are unwell. Lots of teachers are leaving the profession due to stress and other health issues caused by teaching, and his pension share maybe the difference between you being able to leave or not. Remember the average life expectancy for woman is 81 and you could easily live until you are in your 90s.

You can't control where the inheritance goes but you can ask the person to by pass you and give directly to your children especially if they are going into higher education.

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