Talk

Advanced search

Decree absolute

(20 Posts)
madcatladyforever Sat 22-Dec-18 17:12:46

Decree absolute came through today, I feel properly glum, two decades wasted.
A bit of effort would have sorted all of our problems but I guess some people don't want to make that effort.
Honestly, 3 days before christmas. Christmas can do one, it'll be just me and my cat and a crate of wine.
Still at least I still have my house and everything.

OP’s posts: |
Santaisonthesherry Sat 22-Dec-18 17:17:41

Look at it as a time to celebrate you are well rid.
May 2019 be the year you embrace your new beginning!.
wine

Neverexpected2 Sat 22-Dec-18 17:22:49

I feel your pain. Mine is due by new year apparently. 2 decades down the drain because he fancied shagging ow from work. I'm now a single mom to 3 young kids and whilst I got a reasonable settlement his mistress, who has done absolutely nothing to support him to where he's got over all these years, now lives a life of luxury for doing nothing more than pursuing a married man and putting out.

Hoping 2019 is a better one for me and you

madcatladyforever Sat 22-Dec-18 17:23:24

Indeed, thanks smile

OP’s posts: |
madcatladyforever Sat 22-Dec-18 19:05:02

God neverexpected that's awful, what the hell is wrong with these men. They are shitlords, we are well rid in the long run. No point having a man who cannot be trusted or relied on. Mine dumped me when I was seriously ill as my illness was obviously too boring for him.
2019 will be our year. We owe it to ourselves.

OP’s posts: |
Neverexpected2 Sat 22-Dec-18 21:05:13

Yes madcat - I never saw it coming at all and to top it all he's then spent the last 2 years denying it was an affair And calling me crazy etc - and only actually admitted it all a few months back - his reasoning was that he didn't want to hurt me!

But yes, she's his problem now as I have no doubt now he taken this path it won't be his last affair.

We both deserve better and I really hope 2019 is our year smile

Neverexpected2 Sat 22-Dec-18 21:06:32

Sorry, should say he's her problem- but then again she was a cheat too and ruined her own family too so who knows which will be first wink

madcatladyforever Sun 23-Dec-18 07:40:55

They sound vile - they are welcome to each other. You are well rid flowers

OP’s posts: |
NotBeingRobbed Sun 23-Dec-18 09:00:42

At least you got a reasonable settlement and kept your house. I am also losing my life savings. At least I have the kids.

madcatladyforever Sun 23-Dec-18 15:20:47

he should have walked away with nothing, what an arse.

OP’s posts: |
madcatladyforever Mon 24-Dec-18 17:59:42

The big fool drove 100 miles to my house the other evening AFTER the absolute was issued to start going on about what a massive mistake he made and this and that. For fucks sake he's had 2 and a half years to think about coming back. I told him to get lost. Are all men this mental?

OP’s posts: |
Neverexpected2 Mon 24-Dec-18 18:21:00

Christ, what a head f*ck!

ChristmasFlary Mon 24-Dec-18 18:24:50

Got mine last month after 20yrs together. He also had OW. Even though l would never ever take him back and have been happier since he left, l was still so upset when it came.

madcatladyforever Tue 25-Dec-18 14:01:16

I think it's normal to be upset when it comes through ladies because it suddenly hits home that the person you invested your life and time on left you, it's a big betrayal. Three days on I'm feeling on top of the world - hurray and freedom at last.
Got loads of plans for 2019 and feeling so much happier.

OP’s posts: |
OhioOhioOhio Tue 25-Dec-18 14:04:16

Im desperate to get divorced but dreading that decree nisi. Out of all the things my bastard stbxh did ruining my vision of marriage is one of the worst.

madcatladyforever Wed 26-Dec-18 21:46:14

I know what you mean Ohio, I too viewed my marriage as being very special and important but looking back I was the only one making it special, he didn't do anything or lift a finger to make our marriage work.
Went off to see if the grass was greener and when he found it wasn't tried to get me back.
I forgave the first time but not the 2nd time and now the absolute is through he is having a big tantrum because I refuse to remarry him.

OP’s posts: |
LesLavandes Wed 26-Dec-18 22:22:26

Mine due in New Year. Stbxh from hell. He just ruined our Christmas with his 'clever' tactics. Unfortunately I have a child and so cannot get rid of him completely.

LesLavandes Wed 26-Dec-18 22:23:54

Oh, I didn't mean - unfortunately I have a child. .... I mean I fortunately I can't get rid of him completely because we have a child

letsdolunch321 Wed 26-Dec-18 22:34:18

Cheers to all of you,,, here is to a happier 2019 💐🍸

HairBnB Thu 03-Jan-19 17:07:54

Here's to you @Madcatladyforever. I am so glad that I got my divorce after a bit less time than you invested, but still well over a decade. I grieved for my lost years at first, felt as though I'd tipped my best years down the drain, but now I'm a much more rounded, happy, secure, positive, independent person than I ever was with ExH, and I can have as many cats as I like. I do have a fair few!

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in