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Ignoring divorce forms

(7 Posts)
Sunshineandreign Tue 04-Dec-18 03:14:10

Hi
So ex h left me 2 years ago.

In the intervening period tried and failed to work things out. Eventually he said it's over and that's it. I asked for a divorce and for him to pay half the cost ( we have no
assets or property to share and one child).

He told me to do what I wanted and he would sign it. But got really angry when I suggested it.

Anyhow I filed for divorce on grounds of 2 years seperation. Court issued the papers 2 weeks has passed and not been received by court, so I assume he's ignoring it.
I can't afford solicitor. Any advice on what comes next or what I can do??

I know the obvious answer would be to speak to him but we do not communicate. Any interaction with him stresses me out. Through counselling I've come to the realisation that he has been emotionally manipulative if not abusive for years and I would rather not open that can of worms by speaking to him as he always finds a way to make me feel guilty or that he is a victim of a situation in some way.

It took me a long time to realise that his affair etc was his choice not something I pushed him into because I was to ill to have sex on demand. And to realise that me wanting to go out and have date night rather than sit at home while he went out with his friends, or that me questiong his choice to give money away to others (women) rather than ensuring his child had the basics was not a sign of me controlling him but visa versa.

I know I could have filled the form in on grounds of unreasonable behaviour but thought doing it this way -2 years would be quicker and easier.

OP’s posts: |
Blossom5 Tue 04-Dec-18 07:03:25

You can have the papers hand delivered using a professional it is £100 I had to do it but it was a fead cert. You could get it sent royal mail to sign for but I know solicitors use a diff carrier. My friend hand served them and filmed it but I appreciate you don't want to see him. My ex is exactly the same we cannot have any contact because he just uses email a diary what ever form it was to abuse me. Hard when you have 5 kids because things need communicating but it is not possible. You can get 30 min free advice from solicitors and you can do this at as many as you.like... also call the womens centre they are great I got free counclling via them too x

lovealab Tue 04-Dec-18 12:40:20

Petitioning on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour, although not nice, would have meant you wouldn't need his consent, you'd just need to prove that he had received the Petition.......as far as i understand, 2 years separation does require his consent?

sashh Tue 04-Dec-18 13:05:00

I don't think you need consent for adultery, and as he has had an affair you could go for that.

Is there someone you could ask to hand deliver them? Maybe at his workplace so there are witnesses and I agree with filming it.

Sunshineandreign Tue 04-Dec-18 14:18:19

No sadly no one to ask. I also don't now know where he works.
So essentially I would need to pay for it to be delivered again but if he will not consent does that mean I'd have to pay another £550 to do the forms again under grounds of unreasonable behaviour.
What's driving me insane is that he has made it clear he does not want a relationship- (well unless it's one where he floats back and forth between me and other women,) but does not want a divorce!

OP’s posts: |
sashh Tue 04-Dec-18 16:13:22

I had similar many years ago, but I did know where he was, and as it was for adultery his new partner had papers served, apparently she was not happy. He had ignored papers.

I think you need to see a solicitor, even if it is just for advice. I'm fairly sure there are procedures for court bailiffs but really you need expert advice.

Blossom5 Tue 04-Dec-18 17:13:48

My friend has had just the same and he still wont agree 5 years on.... you might get the court fee wavered (I did) or be able to claim costs against him because he is being so obstructive. I would be inclined to get free legal advice at any solicitor for 30 mins and maybe get it sent via someone they suggest. It will cost £100 but the guy I used rang me before and rang me after and it all feels very official so it might scare him x

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