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What is the process? Have no idea where to begin..

(5 Posts)
definitelymaybe8 Wed 28-Nov-18 20:01:16

Married 24 years, should have ended years ago, finally plucked up the courage and so we are splitting up.
I am fortunate, inherited my parents house in 2015 so will go there in March when tenant has left. He of course is entitled to 50% of this.
However I am being emotionally blackmailed but have turned a blind eye, he was threatening suicide and keeps telling me how bad his days are with no regard for me or my future.
He initially said he would give me my 40K capital I put into this property (mortgage free so we own two houses luckily), we have already agreed to split finances 50/50 but he is with holding the majority of savings in his name as he doesn't think we should do it yet... He then said yesterday he worked full time and has put more into our finances, so did I want my 40K!
I am 10 years older, cannot remortgage, he can and I think should later when he is ready. Don't want to go down the legal route just want this to be amicable.
I am still living here sleeping in same bed (sexless marriage for 11 years so no difference). I looked online about how to go about divorce and it seems really complex is there any where there is advice in plain English?
I have no idea where to start other than I have opened a current account and starting to sort direct debits out.

OP’s posts: |
MissedTheBoatAgain Thu 29-Nov-18 00:09:41


You don't mention if there are any children involved? If not that is one less complication to deal with.

I am fortunate, inherited my parents house in 2015 so will go there in March when tenant has left. He of course is entitled to 50% of this

As it was an inherited property he may not be entitled to 50%, but I am not family solicitor. Potentially dangerous to make assumptions about who is entitled to what at this early stage.

24 years is likely to be considered a long marriage. That you are older and less able to get a mortgage may also be relevant to how assets are split.

I agree that you should try to settle amicably, but seeking advice as to what a fair split should be would be worthwhile. If you are both upfront with the disclosure of assets, pensions, savings, earning ability then two good family solicitors should be able to work out a fair deal fairly quickly.

I say two solicitors as not possible for one solicitor to represent both partners at same time.

Good luck


My ex turned the Divorce into a contest and 35K was spent on Legal! Hope you can avoid that.

PickAChew Thu 29-Nov-18 00:14:55

You need to speak to a shit hot solicitor. Take all the financial gubbins you can lay your hands on.

JugglingaBoxofFrogs Thu 29-Nov-18 09:03:11

Contributions in a long marriage are not taken into account. I am in a similar position to you and the STBX is making the same argument. My SOL has told him that if my financial settlement has to go to court, the contributions based argument will not be relevant. Your finances are now deemed to be merged. This also means that you cannot expect the 40K you contributed to be taken into account either. flowers

S0PH1A Thu 29-Nov-18 09:07:19

Where do you live in the UK?

I ask because in Scotland your inheritance would not be considered marital property.

Please see a solicitor to find out what you are entitled to. Take details of all assets, including savings and penions.

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