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Working out what happens to the house

(3 Posts)
GrowingUpIsATrap Sat 17-Nov-18 14:49:05

Hi all,
I wondered if anyone has been in my situation and if so what happened?
I have a joint 50/50 mortgage with my (now ex)partner.
I have 2 children, one aged 11 from a previous relationship and one from my recently finished relationship. I have full custody of eldest child and he sees his father around once a week, sometimes for a sleepover but father is unreliable and often texts midway through the week to change the arrangements. My recent ex partner sees both of my children as the same and loves them equally, and wants to maintain contact with the older child.

2 months ago I told my partner I wanted to split up from him. We are both currently living in the family home. We are not married.
He has a good job which pays a good wage, well above average for the local area.
I have been self-employed for the last year, doing a job which means I can take the children to school/collect everyday and have the holidays with them, however the salary is low.

He wants to either:
Sell the house and split the equity
Buy me out of the house, which would give me about a £25k cash sum. Which is a nice deposit for another house but there is no way I could get a mortgage on my own on my current salary.

I am reluctant to leave the family home because
1. My only option is to go into private rent which is around £700 a month (mortgage is £440 which I could cover on my own).
2. I don't feel private rent would be particularly secure for the children
3. He works long hours 8am-5.30pm with a 40 min commute each way, and has to work away 4/5 weekends a year (usually Thursday - early hours of the Monday morning). I will be doing all of the school runs, dinners etc during the week. (They will stay with him at times during the week but he will collect them/ drop them to me around his commute). I really feel the children should stay in their family home, with their friends nearby as they will be spending a lot of time with me even though he will see them regularly.
4. He is in a much better position to afford private rent than me.

I have suggested some options to him which include:
1. Renting a small flat together nearby and taking turns to stay there, keeping the children in the family home while we take turns staying with them.
2. Him moving out into rented accommodation and me looking for a higher paying job which would mean I could possibly take the mortgage on by myself in a few years time (however I would not be able to buy him out of the house, he would need to wait until youngest child is 18 and we would sell house and then split equity)

He is adamant he wants his money from the house so he can get another mortgage as soon as possible. Or stay in this house and maintain the mortgage. His main priority is keeping a mortgage.

I wonder if the court are likely to force me to sell the house.

He has got legal advice (he's had one appointment) and seems convinced that the court will force us to sell the house. I am trying to arrange a solicitor appointment but it is very difficult around my job.

I just wondered if anyone has been in a similar situation and if it went to court, what happened?

In addition, 12 years ago I made myself bankrupt and he says his solicitor will use this to say I am not 'safe' to manage the mortgage by myself and could therefore miss payments etc which would put the home at risk. When we got together I had no debts whatsoever and had been managing well on my very paltry income (I was on maternity leave when he moved in with me to my local authority house, and was receiving statutory maternity pay and tax credits only). I have absolutely no concerns about making the mortgage payments and my cost of living would be significantly higher if I have to move out.

Would appreciate anyone's experience or advice on this.

OP’s posts: |
northernglam Sat 17-Nov-18 18:35:07

You aren't married so yes a court will force a sale if you refuse and will be legal costs incurred. It doesn't come under family law as no divorce but trust law. If you can't afford to buy him out of his half you will have to sell. Think of the house as just a business contract between you. children's needs don't come into it where unmarried. His only responsibility is to pay child maintenance. This assumes you are on the deeds as joint tenants or have a 50% share as tenants in common when you bought. Check your deeds. If you agreed a different share at time of buying that will probably be what you will get. It's not unreasonable for him to want a new mortgage. Can any relatives help you buy out his share? Would this also be £25k? Would the mortgage company allow you to have the mortgage on your own with your self employed income + tax credits etc? If not would a relative be guarantor. Have you calculated the CM he would have to pay you? Could you manage without that and agree to pay his share back over a few years out of CM. is there room for a lodger to boost your income? Your options are limited if not married. If he wants a new mortgage you need to find a way of being able to take this one over and buying him out or yes you will have to rent or look at shared ownership etc Be careful about overnights reducing child maintenance. if you have the joint child after school but they physically stay at his house overnight that will restrict your income to school hours but will reduce your CM. you could ask he pays for after school childcare on his days and holiday care for his share holidays so you can earn more. Check the CM calculator only the joint child will count and it's based on nights so any afterschool care you do on his days won't count. He could just walk away, make you go through CMS and force a sale which with legal costs would leave you with little left. You don't have any leverage here. There's no right for children to stay in house until 18 when you aren't married

Ss770640 Sat 17-Nov-18 18:37:00

If you want to leave then leave. Your only entitled to what you brought to the table.

Why should he fund your decision to housing his own hard earned money?

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