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One child, short marriage, am I being unreasonable?

(12 Posts)
Rocky0415 Wed 07-Nov-18 22:01:49

Hi all,
So I’ve been married 2.5 years and we have a child age 3.5. I also have an older child, (14) to a previous partner.
Husband and I are going to separate/divorce.
Currently the house and mortgage is in his name as at the time we bought my credit wasn’t great.
I have proposed that part of the agreement should be we continue to pay half mortgage each until our son is 18 at which point I either buy him out or we sell and spilt 50/50.
As I want to stay in the house with the children.
He says I’m trying to screw him over!
I just want to know what my chances are of being able to stay in the house??
He is currently refusing to leave because he says why should he leave his house that he pays for?!
We both put in an equal share for a deposit for the house and I have always worked and contributed.
Any advice gratefully received....

OP’s posts: |
AnneLovesGilbert Wed 07-Nov-18 22:05:32

Can you afford the mortgage on your own? If he takes no money back for a other 15 years, can he afford to buy somewhere for him to live until then?

You need legal advice. It’s always tough when the same pot of money that once funded a single household has to fund two and you both need to be able to live post split.

Rocky0415 Wed 07-Nov-18 22:10:13

I couldn’t afford the full mortgage that’s why I thought paying 50/50 would be the best option because then we’d both still have an investment in the property, the kids would still have their home. He earns 3 times more than me and his business is doing extremely well so I have no worries about him not being able to afford his own place....but he will definitely not be honest about this.

OP’s posts: |
Everytimeref Wed 07-Nov-18 22:16:02

If you want to stay in the property you need to be able to afford the whole of the mortgage, paying your ex's half of the mortgage in lieu of rent.
The only way a court would have a mesher order for so such a long period of time is if it's the only way to house the children.
What equity is there in the property?

Rocky0415 Wed 07-Nov-18 22:22:26

About 90k I think but he doesn’t share that information with me. Because he earns more he believes the house is more his than mine.
He is very controlling with finances. We have had a joint account and then he has had his own current account plus a savings account. All my earnings went into the joint and covered all bills apart from the mortgage. I was always left with nothing at the end and having to ask him for money, and the mortgage is much less than the bills etc.

OP’s posts: |
AnneLovesGilbert Wed 07-Nov-18 22:22:43

You’ll both have to do full financial disclosure as part of the divorce process. After such a short marriage and given that you both work you’ll be expected to house yourselves though you may get a larger percentage of the equity if you have primary care of your child, sold the house and then both bought somewhere else.

He might earn more but once you’re divorced he won’t be responsible for paying for your home.

You should apply for child support but beyond that he won’t have to pay for anything else.

Rocky0415 Wed 07-Nov-18 22:30:29

We start mediation next week (if he turns up) so I’m hoping that because I am not asking for anything related to his business etc (which is worth a lot!) that he will meet me half way... the house we’re in was bought from my grandmother and has been in our family for over 38 years so holds sentimental value for me. I know that means nothing when it comes to divorce and separation but I’m just don’t want to lose my home.

OP’s posts: |
xzcvbnm Wed 07-Nov-18 23:06:30

lol... granny's house holds sentimental value... good luck with that one in court!

Rocky0415 Wed 07-Nov-18 23:09:30

As I said; I know that means nothing to anyone else but me!

OP’s posts: |
AnneLovesGilbert Wed 07-Nov-18 23:36:16

If it’s you have other family emotionally invested in the property could one of them buy your ex out so he gets his share now and you get to stay in it? You really will have to pay the mortgage without any help from him. The only exception would be spousal maintenance which won’t be a goer after 2.5 years.

MissedTheBoatAgain Thu 08-Nov-18 01:22:07

Was the house bought before or after the marriage? If bought before in sole name of husband he will argue that he is entitled to a larger share. However, courts are required to give priority to young children. So having a 3 year old child could go in your favour when splitting assets.

Hopefully you are both upfront with disclosure and settle amicably without the need for Courts. However, if one or both of you make it a contest court costs can be large and there will be less at the end to share out.

Good luck

Redbus1030 Thu 08-Nov-18 13:24:54

Not going after his Business won't be levearge for you I am afraid, as this is a 'short marriage' he will be able to ring fence that.
How much would his half of the mortgage be vs. maintenance? it maybe if it's similar you could just work it out that way as clearly he won't pay both.
In my case I was told I could stay in the house and sit on his equity until my DS was 18 but that I'd have to be able to pay the mortgage and run the house. The house would then be sold and I'd have to relase his original share of that equity. Any further equity aquired after tha point would come to me.
It may be you could sell it to him as an investment if he covers half and gains half later, BUT that will only be apealing/work if he earns enough to be able to live else where, pay maintenance and have a life generally!

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