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Is there a way to getting him to move out?

(10 Posts)
wonderwoman23 Wed 07-Nov-18 16:43:56

Hi all,

My current situation, decree nisi pronounced and now waiting on our first court hearing date...taking forever. Ex has refused to move out and made promises for over a year to move. My daughters are 13 and 10, have asked him to move too (long story but they really don't have much of a relationship with him). He's very bitter about the divorce since it was me that wanted out. He won't budge and wants to keep the house which in all fairness I was willing to let him buy me out but he's made life so miserable for all of us it's now just a battle that I did not want to have.
Anyway my 13 year old is struggling and really suffers from anxiety now over this awful divorce. She's missed literally a whole term of school and I'm struggling to get her back into school. Education Welfare Officer has been notified and school has been really supportive but it's like pulling hair some days and I'm losing the will to live! I'm so exhausted and can't seem focus on anything. I've had to take time off work but I need to go back soon as I can't not work I need to financially support my family once this awful divorce is done. He's a complete control freak and so detached from the girls. No care in the world, treats our house like a hotel. Not asked about the girls or care about their school or welfare. Completely taken himself away from them and their lives. It's a long shot I know as I can't force him to move out but surely there is something I can do if it's detrimental to my daughters well-being and affecting her mental health? She's seeing a psychiatrist and it's just heartbreaking to see her like this as she's such a bright young girl a scholar child but now just complete lost.

Any words of wisdom or advice.....much appreciated!

Please tell me there's light at the end of my tunnel!

How did your children cope?

OP’s posts: |
Ss770640 Wed 07-Nov-18 18:54:45

If you want out.

Then you leave.

LovingLiving Wed 07-Nov-18 18:58:17

What legal advice have you had?

LovingLiving Wed 07-Nov-18 19:00:21

The house and finances will have to be sorted with the divorce and if you can’t agree the court will decide but it’s really important you have a good solicitor who can advise you.

Santaispolishinghissleigh Wed 07-Nov-18 19:05:32

Seek a court order to get the house sold.

Sexnotgender Wed 07-Nov-18 19:06:50

Sell the house.

earlybyrd Wed 07-Nov-18 19:07:25

When you say he treats this place like a hotel I hope that doesn't mean you are providing meals/washing etc ?

LovingLiving Wed 07-Nov-18 19:17:45

Why isn’t he buying you out if that’s what he intended?

FFSFFSFFS Wed 07-Nov-18 19:19:31

My daughters are 13 and 10, have asked him to move too

It is HORRIFIC that you have facilitated this. How on earth did that situation even arise???

Your daughter is suffering because she is being failed by BOTH parents.

It is your responsibility to take them out of this environment. Now.

Your children won't cope because you're not protecting them.

I'm sure he's foul. But you are absolutely are no better for not protecting your daughters.

There is no excuse whatsoever for allowing this situation to continue for your daughters.

I'm sure you have a list of excuses. None of them are reasons. Stand up for your daughters and move out and create a safe environment for them.

Mothers like you make my blood absolutely boil. You are responsible for protecting them. Do it.

stellavisionandunderstanding Wed 07-Nov-18 19:29:09

This is very similar to when my parents divorced. I had no relationship with him and he kept saying my mum was turning us against him. She instigated the divorce after his multiple affairs and bad behaviour. He is a very self absorbed man with no interest in us at all. He treated our home like a hotel and moved me out of my bedroom so he could take over. My mum finally got the courage and used her saving to move us out. Once the divorce was finalised and the money from house was given over she bought a house and we are still going back and forth to this house well into our 30s. Good luck and repeat: what comes is better than what came before!

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