Talk

Flip

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

Please tell me it gets easier.

4 replies

CoconutGal · 04/11/2018 07:13

Been separated from Ex since March. It's been constant harassment & arguments since then. He wants to try again, I don't. I've made that clear to him almost every week. Once I've told him I don't want to be with him, he then starts hurling abuse at me, telling me I've ruined his life, he wishes he never met me, I've ruined our family, I'm this, I'm that. How depressed he is. How hard it is for him. I don't doubt that it's not hard for him. But I've endured months of this now & im actually really really low about it. We have a DD together & when he's angry with me & we do drop off & pick up, he ignores me out right in front of DD. When DD doesn't want to go to his I don't force her because there's nothing legal in place. So I inform him & suggest another day he spends with her instead, that's not good enough & it's all my fault that DD has changed her mind.

I'm just so sick of the constant messages. It doesn't have a stop or starting time. I've had to mute messages from him because he was messaging me early hours of the morning these long messages about what a terrible person I am & what I've thrown away.

Please please help me! I'm at the end of my tether.

OP posts:

Report

mandy151 · 04/11/2018 21:40

Hugs to u. I'm in exactly the same position and it is so so hard. The same thing has been going on for me for 6 months. The begging. Pleading, manipulation. Threats of taking his own life. It's relentless. So much so that I was close to giving in a few times but I refuse to let him guilt me into getting back together when I know I will not be happy. I would resent him so much for making me do this. I got some great advice on here basically saying to cut contact as much as possible. Only communicate re kids. Block on social media. Google grey rock method I'm trying that atm. Hoping it will help

Report

CoconutGal · 12/11/2018 08:12

That's exactly the same for me. There are moments where I think I should give in for the peace of our DD & him. I'm trying so so hard to not make this a massive bad thing in front of DD but he does things like refuse to talk to me politely in front of DD, or he makes bitchy little comments.

OP posts:

Report

Soopermum1 · 12/11/2018 08:43

Yep, same here. Went on for over a year. It's now turned to hatred, particularly now that I have a new boyfriend. He wanted to restrict the time I saw him so refused to see our daughter so I would have no free time. Still doing it nearly a year on

Report

CoconutGal · 12/11/2018 08:57

That's the point we are at now. I didn't tell him I was dating someone because it's not his business, he found out somehow & kicked off at me. I almost stopped seeing this guy because ex made me feel guilty for moving on. Now ex is telling me to leave it up to DD to decide whether she wants to see him or not.