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(25 Posts)
Tallulah81 Thu 01-Nov-18 23:38:48

Hi hoping someone could give me some ex and I separated 3 years ago and I have since remarried and have recently had another baby. Does my ex still have to pay maintenance for our 3 children now that I am remarried? X

OP’s posts: |
BritInUS1 Thu 01-Nov-18 23:44:01

He still has to contribute to his children, yes

totallyaddicted Thu 01-Nov-18 23:45:49

Yes he has to pay child maintenance for the children that you have with him.
But no longer has to pay spousal maintenance if you were receiving that.

Tallulah81 Thu 01-Nov-18 23:53:39

Thank you. He seems to think he doesn’t have to anymore and claims he read it online somewhere. He also said that now he is buying another house he couldn’t afford to pay anyway. Surely that can’t be right either?!?

OP’s posts: |
MissMalice Thu 01-Nov-18 23:54:58

No it isn’t right. You might be best claiming through the CMS.

Tallulah81 Thu 01-Nov-18 23:59:51

Thank you, I’ll give them a call tomorrow x

OP’s posts: |
FishesThatFly Sat 03-Nov-18 08:54:56

He's a delight isnt he - being happy for another man to pay for and raise his children angry

How did you get on with CMS? I'm guessing not great?

Tallulah81 Sat 03-Nov-18 13:12:09

To be honest they wasn’t that helpful, they suggested that I tried to mutually agree a new payment with him. I’m going to try citizens advice next week to find out legally what my rights are.

He is a complete delight..can think of a few other things ld like to call him lol

OP’s posts: |
FishesThatFly Sat 03-Nov-18 13:34:07

I've heard CMS are useless and no help

notapizzaeater Sat 03-Nov-18 13:42:13

Tell cms you can't and ask them to deal with it.

MissMalice Sat 03-Nov-18 15:11:01

I think they must have a target to get as many people as possible to attempt a family based arrangement. Call back and be firm, you want direct pay.

LemonSqueezy0 Sat 03-Nov-18 15:16:35

They won't put him straight on to direct pay, just on your say so. You'll have to open a case with them which is £20 and then give him a chance to pay.. Then if he doesn't, show them that he hasn't been paying. They will then put him on direct pay where it will come out of his wages.. Hopefully he will pay, but unfortunately CMS are notoriously bad for dealing with the cases where the NRP doesn't pay.
Good luck, and get the case open ASAP

cookingteaforsix Sat 03-Nov-18 15:24:28

I think he's mixed up Spousal maintenance with child maintenance.

Spousal maintenance stops when you remarry or cohabit.

Child maintenance is his contribution towards HIS children. This stops when the youngest finishes Further education.

Spousal maintenance is rarely awarded these days anyway.

I'd go back to CMS day he's not wanting to pay and go through formal channels.

The sooner you do it the better as your claim can only be backdated to the date you applied.

MissMalice Sat 03-Nov-18 16:00:37

Lemon, you’re confusing direct pay (where the NRP pays direct to the RP) and collect and pay. If the parents can’t agree a family based arrangement, the next step is direct pay. If the NRP refuses to pay on Direct Pay, they are moved to Collect & Pay.

Ss770640 Sat 03-Nov-18 18:40:27

If it's 50/50 custody then no Maintanence.

Otherwise yes he will pay for all 3 until age 18.

Hadenoughofallthis Sat 03-Nov-18 19:01:34

And he may have to re-think buying a house that he clearly can't afford if it means he can't meet his responsibilities to his existing children.

Tallulah81 Sat 03-Nov-18 20:35:52

Thank you everyone you have all been really helpful xx

OP’s posts: |
LemonSqueezy0 Sat 03-Nov-18 21:22:40

@missmalice yes, sorry. I meant they won't put him on collect and pay until he's officially missed payments. So I'd still say start a claim as they don't back date.

Hadenoughofallthis Sun 04-Nov-18 08:57:51

What an idiot he sounds.

Oldbutstillgotit Sun 04-Nov-18 09:02:00

CMS will always promote an agreement between parents , not appreciating how difficult that is for most couples. You have to really insist that a “ Family Based Arrangement “ simply won’t work and you want them to deal with it . You will pay £20 for that. You have to be quite firm with them.

Drawtheline14 Mon 05-Nov-18 20:08:27

Go straight to CMS, when my husband and is separated we weren’t on talking terms at all and he threatened to stop paying the mortgage and wouldn’t pay maintenance because he ‘couldn’t afford it’. I went directly to CMS and said that he had no intention of paying etc and wanted collect and pay then they sent him a letter and he suddenly agreed to pay the mortgage in place of maintenance (the mortgage is cheaper)

MissedTheBoatAgain Wed 07-Nov-18 02:33:24


An application to CMS will cost £20. Well worth it in my view as it is binding by Law whereas mutual agreements are not. CMS will make an annual review to check whether or not the amount payable needs to be changed depending on circumstances.

Before contacting CMS write down everything you know about Ex Husband such as; full name, date of birth, address, where he works. If you know his National Insurance Number that will be a big help.

Maybe you can look on the following Link:

Any decent father will not try to evade maintenance for their children. Those that do are trash.

I pay the CMS figure to Ex wife as it is required by Law. Extras such as; hobiies, birthdays, Christmas and payment into Child Trust Fund I pay direct.

Fuzzywig Wed 07-Nov-18 03:19:34

If your new husband has legally adopted your children and/or your ex has given up his parental rights then he will not have to pay to support his kids otherwise he needs to cough up.

I think he is trying to delay paying as long as possible.

MissedTheBoatAgain Wed 07-Nov-18 03:33:20

If your new husband has legally adopted your children and/or your ex has given up his parental rights then he will not have to pay to support his kids

Marrying again will bring any Spousal Maintenance to an end, but I am not convinced that Ex's can stop paying Child Maintenance. CMS is the way forward as their assessment is binding by Law.

Fuzzywig Wed 07-Nov-18 06:27:40

Missed the boat that’s why I said if new husband had adopted and ex husband had given up his parental rights.

OP I think I would ring CMS and push it through.

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