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CAO process - not sure where to go from here

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MessyBedMessyHead Tue 30-Oct-18 10:40:35

I’ll try to keep this brief but obviously there’s a massive back story...

I stopped XH contact with our kids earlier this year following years of flaky contact and questionable parenting (so much so, SS were questioning why I was allowing it to continue), unless and until he sought a court order.

At the first hearing, I agreed to supervised contact with his sister until CAFCASS had completed their reports although he was not happy with this. Afaiwc, it was working well and exSIL told me that despite the fact XH was pressuring her to go to court to say she would no longer supervise, she was going to tell him no as she was happy to continue as we were, even offering to have the kids on the date of the hearing. She later cancelled saying she didn’t want any arguments with her brother. I think he believed that if there was nobody to supervise, then court would order unsupervised contact but obviously that’s not how it works.

At court, I agreed to allow her in the room. I don’t know why I was surprised, but she totally changed her tune, making out that I was difficult over times and dates and she was no longer willing to do it. Court would not order unsupervised until CAFCASS had done a s7 report.

At this point they were both being aggressive with me, directing their questions at me, asking ridiculous questions of the judge and making counter safeguarding concerns about me (something I’m sensitive to since my parenting has been picked apart over and over as one of my dc has MH issues - hence SS involvement). The judge let them do this again and again until I asked him to intervene.

I don’t know what to do now. It was made clear in court that contact was by agreement but I no longer trust his sister since it is clear she cannot stand up to her brother and will lie to aid him getting what he wants. She’s revealed that her priority is not the kids’ welfare but rather avoiding her brother’s temper. She also damaged my trust and what I believed was a friendship due to the unjustified nasty things she was saying.

The s7 report will take 13 weeks. I was happy that contact was being paced slowly to allow the kids to adjust but we will go back to square one if it stops just like that. ExSIL changed her tune and said she would supervise once she realised it was that or nothing but I don’t know if I should allow that given the above.

What would you do in these circumstances? I genuinely want contact to be established, I just want that contact to be safe and consistent for my kids.

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