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Should I leave the family home?

(6 Posts)
Glamorousgrandma Sun 30-Sep-18 10:30:57

Yesterday was my 34th Wedding anniversary but technically speaking my husband and I are separated. October last year, after a very difficult and emotionally draining time, I confronted my husband saying either things have to change or we go our separate ways. He very quickly and with great relief told me he has wanted to separate for quite some time - hence the feeling that he was shutting me out. Since then we have lived in separate rooms within the family home. I was just starting out in my first permanent teaching job and he was setting up his own business (after losing everything when his family business went under). It was not financially viable for either of us to move out at that point. We have put our house on the market but there has been nobody interested in buying. So here I am almost a year down the line, stuck in limbo. I am finding it very difficult to cope with living under the same roof. My husband just wants to behave as though we are friends and everything is fine. I on the other hand am finding it so hard to cope with the loss and pain he has put me through. I am seriously considering taking the plunge to rent a house but am worried a) could this be used against me legally when we get to the divorce point b) will he look after and maintain the house and garden C) can I really afford to move out on my not very big salary An added complication is that our youngest daughter, 24yrs, still lives with us. She has serious mental health problems and has made it clear she wants to live with me. She is unable to work full time due to her severe depression (recently attempted suicide) so is dependent financially as well as emotionally. We also have a much loved dog who would have to come with us making it harder to find a rental property! I am desperately trying to find a way to move forward but don't know what to do for the best. I don't really want to leave my lovely home until I know we have secured a sale but on the other hand living in limbo is so stressful and upsetting.

OP’s posts: |
LadyLapsang Sun 30-Sep-18 11:23:12

What is the feedback from those that have viewed? I would be tempted to either reduce the price to sell now or take it off the market and relaunch next Easter.

Glamorousgrandma Sun 30-Sep-18 12:06:29

Only had 3 viewings all had different reasons for not offering on the house e.g. Need caravan parking, which is not permitted in deeds of house; loved the house but too far from the school I want my children to go to. Nobody said anything about the price being too high. The house is reasonably priced compared to other property in the area. The market is just extremely quiet and there are new builds offering incentives and part exchange nearby. We are just going to have to be patient but in the meantime I need to decide whether it is right for me to move out.

OP’s posts: |
redhed30 Sun 30-Sep-18 12:32:09

It's a difficult one. I left the family home although we are not married. He asked me to leave we was constantly arguing it was no good for the kids. Problem is now I am paying 4 times the amount in rent that he is on the mortgage and he refuses to help. Lucky enough I can afford it but it is the principle as he has excluded me from a house that I have every right to live in.

user1492863869 Mon 01-Oct-18 00:09:07

As I see it you need to sell and go for the clean break.

Brexit will be an issue. I have held back on offers till I know what the deal will be and likely impact. The other issue will be new builds. Help to buy makes them seem affordable and attractive when they are actually overpriced and shoddy. I’m buying as a second home for work reasons so it’s not an option and I have a reasonable deposit. But I can see how it distorts the market. I’m looking for a good solid no hassle second hand home.

Perhaps think about how you are marketing the house and who you are marketing it to. You want canny buyers with a decent deposit. Don’t use new home prices as a guide to the local market. They are very overpriced and intelligent buyers know this. A keen and realistic price is needed. Present the house well and don’t advertise that you are divorcing. That would put me off making an offer unless I knew you were both really desperate to sell.

LadyLapsang Tue 02-Oct-18 21:04:04

I agree. Don't let on you are divorcing. Some people will be put off the house and others will put in really low offers.

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