Struggling with him being so vile to me

[MrsCountless]

So,...h left me after loads of comings and going after I’d discovered his affair. He then found out I was dating and lo and behold wanted me back. I tried to want him back but couldn’t get over the way he’d betrayed me.I had been casually dating, but am now serious with someone. Ex is being an absolute cunt to me and I’m fed up. It was all his choice to leave me. I wanted to take him back for kids and family. But I couldn’t feel the same. Im exhausted with it all. What to do?

[hotelzanzibar]

Don't take him back if it's just for the kids. I've been in the same situation and you will just hate yourself for sabotaging your self-respect. It's incredibly hard when it is really over, but people tell me it gets better eventually and at least you will emerge with your self esteem intact. Take care x

[MrsCountless]

Thanks... I hope it will get better. I feel so worn down by his sniping and vitriol, all unjustified.

[Lovechilli]

I’m in the same situation, telling me he loves me and then wanting to be with other women and then blaming me when it doesn’t work out with her, I feel your pain, why do they have to be so nasty with it

[MrsCountless]

I know, I think that’s what I don’t understand...

I can understand that he has realised he’s fucked us and I’ve moved on, but why he needs to be so bitter and vindictive to me I just don’t know.

He’s still seeing his OW too...it’s ridiculous really and I hate that I let myself get upset by it

[GreenTulips]

You can't change him only the way you react

He's beings unreasonable - say I'll think on that and get back to you - no need to fuel any flames

He demands anything instantly say 'Not possible today - I'll get back to you'

Just ignore him like an annoying fly buzzing around

[fuzzywuzzy]

You need to go into self preservation mode.

Don’t communicate on anything but the children, have an email set up via which you both can make contact arrangements. I’d change my number and only have the one he has on for when he has the children and needs to contact you.

Do handovers for children seeing him at a neutral place and don’t bother engaging with him on anything other than the children.

Once you disengage and stop caring about what he tihnks or feels and put yourself and your dc first you’ll find things get easier.

He’ll be pissy as he has no control over you and will get nasty, but you’re away from him and that’s a good thing.