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So worried about court

(5 Posts)
Marlboroandmalbec34 Sun 16-Sep-18 19:36:33

Ex is a binge drinker and drink driver. I cannot really prove it though. I left as he was abusive and aggressive when drunk and I don’t want my dc living in that environment.
He was never very hands on with the kids but they do love him very much.
Split has been v nasty. He is in family home whilst me and dc are in mums spare room 30 miles away, he has told lots of lies and turned friends against me, refused to pay maintenance.m, changed locks so I cannot get mine and kids belongings,
Contact currently is 1 full day every weekend. He wants overnightd and we are in court in 2 weeks. The reasons I have not agreed overnights are;
1) don’t trust him not to drink night before and either drive dc over limit or fall into hungover sleep early eve whilst caring for them (both have happened in the past)
2) he has threatened before (in drink) to take them from me and told the dc “say bye bye to mummy” “you won’t ever see mummy again” so without court I always worry he won’t return them
3) DC are 3 and 1. Youngest is still bf. he wants 3 nights EOW this feels too long. I asked did he not think baby would be distressed and he answered “she will have to get over it”
4) he has told me he has wrote them both letters explaining everything I have done wrong and when they can read they can make their own minds up. This seems abusive to dc to put baggage on them.
I was refused mediation due to domestic violence / police call outs.
If it wasn’t for the drinking I think we could agree a parenting plan, the dc adore him and I know he loves them. I want them to have a good relationship but I am so worried. Weekends, Xmas, hols, all the times he wants contact are when he drinks!!
I have cafcass calling next week. - any advice? He is Mr charming
I am just so worried
I honestly wonder if I should have just stayed with him. I could have protected kids then

OP’s posts: |
Notbeingrobbed Sun 16-Sep-18 20:12:42

Doesn’t sound like Mr Charming - drink driving and falling into a drunken stupor while caring for a baby.

Marlboroandmalbec34 Sun 16-Sep-18 21:02:17

I know he is not. What I mean is to outsiders. I cannot prove much. He has never been caught drunk driving, he holds down a good job, the friends who have witnessed him be aggressive seem to be believing his lies, he is twisting and turning everything. I am worried he will be believed over me

OP’s posts: |
Marlboroandmalbec34 Sun 23-Sep-18 09:41:53

Had my cafcass call this week. Went ok I think but wonder what will happen in court

OP’s posts: |
ForeverBubblegum Sun 23-Sep-18 14:20:32

If there were police call outs, and enough evidence not to go to mediation, then you can prove at least some if it. That should be enough to give them an idea of who he is, and they will at least consider your concern.

The fact he is pursuing overnight with a breast fed 1 year old will also not look good, as he's putting his own needs over that of the child.

Might be to late for some of his comments, but try to keep future communication in written forms (email, texts, messenger) so you have a record of what he's saying to you. Any threats or disregard for the DC's well been will be useful.

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