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When finally get over him ??

(9 Posts)
Layniboggs123 Sun 16-Sep-18 13:12:11

Hi stbxh split over 12months ago due to him having an affair, they are still together now and he sees our DS regular . I started to enjoy the single life doing things me n ds holidays ect and defiantly don't want him back. I just can't stop thinking about him n how it was when days were good feel like I've taken 100 steps back anyone else been like this ?

OP’s posts: |
RedSquirrelMoonlight Tue 18-Sep-18 02:43:34

Yes, I know what you mean. I tend to minimise the reality of it, until I look back thru my journal...

Hugs to you

Flower64 Tue 18-Sep-18 05:41:31

I've been separated almost ten weeks and daily I am still crucified by knowing that my ex remained with me for over two years, had a baby with me and bought a house with me but was off chasing other women at work - even though he denies this. Recently a hotel company wrote to his "very good friend at work" at my house (clearly used his card and her name stupidly!) and I didn't leave my bed for two days as it upset me so much. He now feels he should get spousal maintenance from me as I am a higher earner despite me now being a single parent to four children and living on four hours sleep a night to keep my job! Its really hard because they just don't see the damage they leave behind. I've started counselling - this could help you? We're working on my self esteem so that I can learn to accept that in the long term I'm better off without him. Big hugs x

Notbeingrobbed Tue 18-Sep-18 09:08:42

You need to convince yourselves you’re better off without these losers. You see how they are really behaving - you need to let go of the illusion from the past and face up to the fact that these men are exploiting you and don’t give a damn. That’s tough. Then you can move on.

Layniboggs123 Tue 18-Sep-18 09:26:47

Thanks guys better day today feeling positive xx

OP’s posts: |
OurMiracle1106 Tue 18-Sep-18 09:29:54

After I left my ex husband I wrote in a notebook all the negative memories (he was abusive so it’s a tough read) and when I was feeling weak I would open that notebook and read a page or 2 randomly and it would remind me of how shit life was and how utterly worthless he made me feel. Maybe try writing all the negatives and your feelings down. Keep it to read at some later point.

Ax688 Tue 18-Sep-18 10:07:50

I moved out 14 weeks ago. I had wanted to leave for 2 years. It was an abusive relationship. I still miss him. And like you I feel I've taken so many steps back.

It's hard isn't It flowers

Layniboggs123 Wed 19-Sep-18 18:56:23

Love mumsnet great support and loads of advise to get me back on track smileflowers

OP’s posts: |
Ss770640 Sat 03-Nov-18 20:09:11

Make a list of all his bad points and read it

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