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Financial worries

(7 Posts)
topoftheworld1 Sat 01-Sep-18 22:52:03

My husband has recently announced he is leaving. I have been a SAHM to DC who are nearly 4 and nearly 7 for the past 4 yrs.

I don't really feel I can trust him at all in any way - but especially from a financial point of view. I'm a bit worried about him trying to fleece me.

He has his own business and I know nothing about how much it's worth etc. Does anyone know how easy it will be for him to hide money from the solicitors, if we go down the legal route?

Also, when he first announced that he wanted out, he said he would continue to pay the mortgage and the bills until I was back on my feet career wise. He's paid it all since we have been married so this isn't a new thing. I'm a bit worried though as I saw a message come through on his phone from his friend, encouraging him to move his money (hide it) and sell the family home. What happens if he suddenly decides he can't afford to pay & wants to sell the house?

Does he have to continue paying for everything, as he has done for years - or is that a choice? Can he put our house up for sale if he wants to? I'm not in a position at the moment to pay the mortgage and bills.

Hoping to get myself back to college and get some qualifications behind me, for some security and so I will be able to pay for much more eventually.

Don't feel like I can trust him at all and he's definitely up to something.

OP’s posts: |
JeannaYme Tue 04-Sep-18 17:43:35

Dear Topoftheworld1,
I have registered specially to comment on your post.
Do you know what spousal support is? please read. He will have to support you because you have been financially dependant on him all the time. It would be better for you to find a divorce attorney so that your husband can't use your ignorance for his purposes.
I wish you luck!

Carol27 Tue 04-Sep-18 20:09:33

Hi can anyone please help and advise. My husband left five months ago after I discovered his affair. I was 400 miles away having major surgery to remove my stomach after surgery five years ago went wrong. He never stayed at the hospital and never helped me when I got home. He said he didn't like my nasal feeding tube so I removed it and ended up back in hospital. I found a bank statement with jewellery on it he'd gotten her for valentines day, I didn't even get a card. He denied it for two days but then said she listened and he couldn't cope with my illness and as I couldnt work anymore debts had built up. I was heartbroken. Then he left, I then realised he had taken all the paperwork, emptied both bank accounts and took seven thousand of my own money leaving me penniless and on disability benefits. He changed utility bills into my name. He moved in with her but says he's at his parents 40miles away. He's lied to his solicitor and her letters have got a bullying tone to them saying I should be working and saying I ran up debts. Friends and family helped me pay for a solicitor but my ex kept delaying the form E, the house is up for sale but no equity in it, in fact there's a loan on it so a few thousand will be owed. Then ge took it off the market without telling me, said he was moving back in as he needed time and space, that he loved me but thst might not be enough and he may come back to me but he didn't know and didn't think court was a good way to go. He said I'd never get spouse maintenance or pension from him as he will say he's hot no money. He's not sure he loves her and may not stay with her. I put the house straight back on the market so he couldn't move back in so he's still at hers. I'm now in a sheltered housing rented place near our grown up children and grandchildren. He abandoned us all. I've gone no contact for seven weeks as he kept messing with my mind. Last week I finally got his form E and he lied on nearly all of it, saying he's living at his parents, saying he's paying out a lot more each month than he is, no recent bank account saying where his salary is. Pay slips until match only. Says he only took out a pension last year aged 59. Thankfully I can prove nearly all the lies but I'm devastated as I saw my solicitor today and whilst she totally agrees yes lied and to his own solicitor she feels it would cost me way too much to take him to court with her doing it. She said she will give him 14 days to provide proof of what's he's signed too which he won't be able too then a form A will go to court. Well it seems I then have to represent myself, I'm still not well, still have my feed tube and have to go in front of a judge whilst he will have his solicitor. My solicitor says she will help and advise me still in the background so it won't cost much that way. I'm scared, I'm living alone for the first time ever. The awful and confusing thing is I miss him, I still have feelings for him yet he's like a monster now, how do I fall out of love with him? I have thoughts and images of him and her constantly where they are happy and loved up, this distressed me so much, I cry all the time. I'm even jealous of her yet all she's got is a liar , a cheat and a thief, i keep remembering the kind caring man he used to be. I'm sorry this is so long. Thankyou so much. Carol.

MissedTheBoatAgain Wed 05-Sep-18 00:42:37


Does your Husband operate through a Limited Company? If so you should be able to get copies of the accounts online for free. Link is:

However, possible that the accounts are abbreviated if the Revenue is not that high.

If he is Self Employed that may be a bit more difficult.

Ideally you would make an amicable settle without the need to involve Legal. However, this only works when both are upfront with their disclosure. If you already think assets are being hidden you should seek advice as to how to overcome that.

There was a case last year whereby a father was paying 7 pounds per week in child maintenance even though he had properties totaling over 5 million pounds. Even the Judge could not believe it that a clever accountant and use of Trusts could be used to keep 5 million pounds of assets off the table.

Good luck

Carol27 Wed 05-Sep-18 06:43:36

Thankyou for your help, he's works on a salaried basis in Insurance with a small annual bonus. I think its his total annual salary he's trying to hide and two private pensions as he's produced no recent bank account details of where his salary gets paid into and says he only recently took out a pension at age 59 yet I remember when he was 55 he withdrew money from at least two pensions. I do have his N. I number so I don't know if things can be traced from that.

MissedTheBoatAgain Wed 05-Sep-18 07:03:35


If you have the NI number CMS should be able to obtain from HMRC his Tax Returns or maybe P60 from his employer to show gross annual earnings

Carol27 Wed 05-Sep-18 07:41:58

Yes I have that so I will definitely pass that on to my solicitor this morning before she sends his letter off to his solicitor. I appreciate your help.

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