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How did you cope when he left?

(14 Posts)
disneyprincess87 Thu 23-Aug-18 09:18:07

Hi all,

Trying my best to look after myself and LO as DH has told me it's over, I'm heartbroken, anxious and overwhelmed.

How did you get thriugh this period of your life? Xxx

OP’s posts: |
ScoobyCan Thu 23-Aug-18 09:24:29

I chucked him out so I was in different shoes, but I had good days and more challenging ones (2 kids under 10).

Sometimes just getting up getting food together and putting clothes on everyone was a successful day.

Don't be too hard on yourself and don't expect too much of yourself. Putting one foot in front of the other some days might be all you are able to do - taking one day at a time will relieve the pressure you put on yourself. Be kind to yourself. Your LO will keep you busy, but if there are some days where you have the telly on for the most part, it's not the end of the world. Chin up OP. HTH.

Juststopit Thu 23-Aug-18 10:31:48

Badly at first, but it gets much easier. Time is a great healer it’s just a case of day by day. Reach out to friends and family and don’t go all out trying to be the perfect parent. Tv and crisps are fine.

SofiaJessica4 Sat 25-Aug-18 20:17:12

Husband recently separated from me - only a few weeks ago. First few days I was off work literally crying non stop and on the phone to my mum, friends, anyone to distract me.

I don’t have kids so different situation. I’ve spent as much time as I possibly can with my friends & family who have been amazingly kind. I would say, reach out to people, they will want to be there to help you. Try to keep busy. Try to take care of yourself (I’m finding this bit difficult).

Saying that I’m still hurting & in denial so I may not have the best advice.

Hugs. Hope bank holiday is going ok for you. Have a stiff drink maybe and something nice to eat and watch a program.

I am alone in our house today. He has gone off somewhere (to his mums?!) as he knows I’m here. Xxx

SofiaJessica4 Sat 25-Aug-18 20:18:06

p.s I can’t quite believe it but I do feel better now some days / weeks have past - it will get better slowly xxx

disneyprincess87 Sat 25-Aug-18 20:43:02

You are all amazing, strong individuals. Time is the best healer.

It amazes me the variety of feelings I go through every day, grief, anxiety, feeling sorry for him that he's done this... I just can't believe that he's done this to our family. I hope anger comes soon so I can move forward and not waste so much time thinking about this instead of living in the moment.

Hugs to you all. Xxx

OP’s posts: |
SofiaJessica4 Sat 25-Aug-18 21:00:10

I feel like I cycle through feelings too. Haven’t reached anger yet. Try to forgive yourself if you’re thinking a lot about it - I know I am, but I’m trying to forgive myself for that.

I was angry & resentful force lot of time in last 6 months due to things he had pushed me into, so now I’m not sure anger will ever come just sadness.

It’s so hard to understand, when you’ve been so close to someone how it can just end.

Hope you have a lovely rest to your evening. Be nice to yourself xxx

FanjolinaJolie Sat 01-Sep-18 11:46:50

I am one month in. Took the first week of work as was crying so much eyes were permanently swollen and I could not eat or sleep, I was given anti anxiety meds from the dr but they didn’t really help. Best thing has been serious exercise and skipping tablets. This is a good synopsis of a book I’ve just ordered from book depository

www.abandonment.net/swirl-the-five-stages-of-abandonment

FanjolinaJolie Sat 01-Sep-18 11:48:14

Sleeping tablets not skipping tablets

SofiaJessica4 Sat 01-Sep-18 12:53:02

I probably could do with sleeping tablets

flyingsaucersherbet Sat 01-Sep-18 13:07:36

I’m trying to view today (first September) as a new start. I’m taking nytol and trying to lie down for 10:30 every night. I’m reading every bloody self help book known to man - you are badass and it’s called a break up because it’s broken have been good ones. I’m trying to just put one foot in front of the other, but it’s hard. I’m being a crap parent to Ds at the moment and can’t wait for school to go back for some routine. I’m just hoping that if I keep on going, somehow enough time will pass that it will start to feel better. I miss my ex so very much, but he absolutely doesn’t want to be with me. It’s shite really!

SofiaJessica4 Sat 01-Sep-18 13:25:20

I don’t know what to do. My husband says he loves and cares for me but I’ve hurt him too much and he can’t deal with it anymore and doesn’t want to. That all that could work is space. I’m happy to give it to him, but he doesn’t think it will make much difference. But he was crying and saying he has been thinking about his decision and does miss me “a bit”. I’m just not ready to move on and let go entirely. The house won’t sell for up to 6 months so we’re both tied here although not both in the house everyday.

Twentyonesecondstogo Sat 01-Sep-18 13:51:35

I’m struggling too
I like the sound of skipping tabs
Will look up those books

Twentyonesecondstogo Sat 01-Sep-18 14:02:49

Stages of abandonment is really spot on

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