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Do I want a Divorce or separation? Assets?

(5 Posts)
Worriedwombat2015 Sat 04-Aug-18 07:52:29

My DH and I have recently split and he has moved out.

Its a bit of a weird situation. We still love each other, but reasons being what they are we need to split and live apart. I won't bore with the details, it is what is unfortunately. No affair, no arguments.

I don't feel I want a divorce at this point, but the practical side of me thinks I do need a legal separation. He is incredibly poor with money and I don't want to be bitten on the arse for it.

The only "joint" ie Co signed finance we have is the mortgage. Which we need to sort out properly. He said he doesn't want to sell and wants me and the dc to stay there. I trust him as far I can at the moment, but I want something legally concrete.

He would need to stay on the mortgage at the moment, I would never get the mortgage alone, but I can afford the pay all the bills alone, providing he pays the min child maintenance as per the calculator. He has offered to pay more,but could this mean the could argue a bigger stake in the house down the line if he argues he has also been paying the mortgage?

How should we start moving forward?

Should I get the house valued and agree half the current equity as that is what he has paid into so far?

I have no reason to think he would be unreasonable at this point.

The only real sticking points will be the mortgage as he will need to stay on the mortgage for the next couple of years. Things may change for me then, but if not we'll have to move. But I don't want to pay it alone for the next few years and have to give up half of what I pay from now on.

Would I have to take on half his debt? This is his personal debt, nothing I've Co signed for.

And if down the line things don't go the way we are both hoping,, neither want to end the marriage at the moment, but agree we need to split. Does everything agreed during the separation process have to be re agreed at the divorce process?

Thank you
Such a mess, I feel so sad.

OP’s posts: |
NorthernSpirit Sat 04-Aug-18 09:34:16

You need to get proper legal advice.

All martial assets are viewed as joint - houses, pensions, savings etc. The start point of division is 50:50

He may be happy for you to stay in the house now and continue to be in the mortgage. But what happens in the future when you or he find a new partner. He’s not going to be happy with another man living in the house and he’s still in the mortgage and by being in that mortgage he won’t be able to buy anywhere else.

Get it sorted legally.

MrsBertBibby Sat 04-Aug-18 13:54:15

All martial assets are viewed as joint - houses, pensions, savings etc. The start point of division is 50:50

Yet again, you can't possibly say this based on the information in the OP. Why do you persist in pretending you know what you are talking about?

OP see a family solicitor. No one can advise you on this forum.

Worriedwombat2015 Sat 04-Aug-18 18:49:36

Thank you, I think I do need to see a solicitor to get an idea. It's tricky.

I've no reason to think he'd try and screw me over, but I also know that things could change very quickly in that respect...

OP’s posts: |
Ss770640 Sat 03-Nov-18 20:30:46

Document everything including valuations at day of marriage to day of seperation.

50% only applies to marital assets.

Lots of people think they can get 50% of everything. Which is wrong.

Awards are based on needs and circumstance.

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