How did you get used to having less money/different lifestyle?

[needyourlovingtouch]

I'm really really thinking that at some stage I will be divorced

[needyourlovingtouch]

Posted too soon!
I think I will be divorced. Don't want to go into why. The worry I have is that I live a long way from my parents (who aren't very supportive anyway) and I've got used to not having to worry about money. I am the lower earner (although still a good wage) by my DH earns double what I do. I just need to hear from people who've been through it that it will be Manageable and I will cope. Perhaps my mindset is too fixed.

[RedSquirrelMoonlight]

Before your current relationship, were you able to have a financially sound (tho less flash) lifestyle. If so, you will eventually get the hang of it again.

As you already know, there will be an uncomfortable adjustment period...

For me, it was hard to cut back as I'd never really budgeted as an adult. Even know, I have to make myself do it.

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

With the exception of wealthy couples it is likely that both partners will experience a reduced lifestyle due to less money in the pot.

Your choice, but if money is the only thing that makes you hesitant about a divorce then I would say your marriage is over anyway? Remember the vow "for richer for poorer" ?

[Pictureiswonky]

I just did. No choice really. Stopped wasting money in clothes I didn't need. Started going on holidays to much cheaper places. It's a more simple life style but in my case, it was worth it. Everyone comments how much happier I seem

[Thegianttap]

I'm about to experience this and I work freelance so the pressure to earn a regular income is going to suddenly hit me I feel. I now have to make enough to cover rent and all the bills (before, it just kind of happened between two incomes). I agree with Pictureiswokny, it is about choice, you just find ways to be more thrifty (and it is actually quite enjoyable - I get more pleasure out of finding a brand new jigsaw dress in a charity shop than I do spending stupid money on something new).

[needyourlovingtouch]

I already buy all my clothes second hand and try to be thrifty. I went from living at home to being married so have never experience living alone. I am worried as there is no safety net.

[needyourlovingtouch]

It's also letting go of the dream of having 2 children and a lovely house in the countryside. I may well be a single mum stuck in a flat and I'm finding that hard to come to terms with. Seems such a step backwards.

[HalfMyLife]

@needyourlovingtouch ((hugs)) it's that letting go of the dream that's the hardest bit. You go into a marriage expecting to grow old together, see your children and grandchildren grow up together etc - and then that's snatched away and the future is completely different and more than a little bit scary.

Start planning now - find out what tax credits etc you will be entitled to as a single parent. If you use childcare, make sure you include this cost as you can get quite a bit towards this (I also earn a decent wage, and didn't think i would get anything towards childcare but I do, and it's made a huge difference). Also, don't forget to take child maintenance into the equation.

There are some good budgeting tools out there - this will help you budget for everything - even things like haircuts, dentist visits etc - the little things that you might forget but all add up.

I've been separated for 16 months - and just reached absolute. I can honestly say i'm better off now than i ever was with XDH as i have total control over all the spending.

I am also happier than i've been in a long, long time.

Good luck xx

[needyourlovingtouch]

Thank you Half my life. That's just the sort of post I needed.

[GandolfBold]

I feel similar to you OP, and my DH earned 10x what I do. I worry that the children will resent my choice, and that he will be able to provide them with much more than me.

[bluetrampolines]

Get organised slowly now. Start quietly bulk buying. Every penny helps.