Co-parenting and concerns over Ex's abilities

[iamthrough]

Hi everyone. I've mostly been adding to the "Support thread for those divorcing against their stbex wishes " thread but have a specific area to ask you all about so new thread it is!

Myself and Ex are partly through our divorce process. Currently still in family home.

We have 2 children (DS 12 and DD 9) and it's been on my STBXH's insistence that we split the childcare 50/50. without going into the nitty gritty (don't wish to be identified) I have some concerns over my Ex's ability to parent. In no way do I think they will be put to harm in any direct sense - just I have my doubts (based on experience) that he wont be able to do a great job. I have genuine reasons for doubting his ability.
Question is has anyone else come out the other side of this?? Did your ex partners prove you wrong and actually end up doing a grand job and you co-parent well.... or has anyone gone to court based purely on childcare (rather than division of money) and how did it turn out.... or has anyone started with a 50/50 co-parent arrangement then had to go to court at a later date when your fears were realised and you feel you had to intervene for the sake of your kids??

[Cherubfish]

I think it is to your ex's credit that he wants 50/50. Lots of men seem happy to fall into the background of the children's lives after a split. I think you should give him a chance!

[hiddeneverything]

You need to trust your gut and also the facts that are there x

[Originallymeonly]

I'm about to go to court for just child arrangements, the finances were done and decree absolute done a while back.

[Screaminginsidemeagain]

Give him a chance- your children aren’t babies and will let him and you know if he falls short.

[RB68]

I think you need to raise this now and he can have support put in place via social services - better its there than its not it it puts the children at risk - not just physical abuse but emotional etc

someone I know very recently had her vstex put in an order for full custody with reams (I mean 8o odd separate points as to why she shouldn't have it) and the court basically threw it out and she has retained permission to remain in hiding with full custody and has got a non mol as well. This is not about physical but mental and emotional abuse with light physical goading/prodding etc

If you have concerns go in now with them and let the professionals handle the telling him thing.