Splitting assets.

[Summersweet]

We are divorced and the arguing continues relentlessly although I expect he feels the same.
Me: I have the two children aged 12 and 15.
Him: Due to a drink problem and aggressiveness the courts/cafcass have given him limited access. Our eldest child at 15 decided she doesnt want to see him at all as he was violent towards her and the court upheld this. He has our younger daughter for half day on Sunday and one evening weekeday but she cannot stay overnight.

Now that is sorted it is down to the financials which basically is the house.
I'm living in it at the moment with our children. I had the house before I met him (it was only worth 275,000 then)but it has jumped up in value over the past 10 years and is worth about 500,000 with 100,000 still owing. It seemed a lot until we start working out how much each of us is likely to get and whether we could afford new homes with the proceeds. I'm told the split could be close to 50/50 which seems very unfair although I don't want to seem greedy or unreasonable.
Any thoughts or advice/

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1]

My thoughts are that the house could well be split 50/50. What about pensions/savings? Do you have those

[Summersweet]

We have no savings or pensions or investments. The house was my investment.
It seems unfair that I originally bought the house as both security and later to leave to the children but might lose everything as I couldn’t possibly afford to buy another house even with a decent sized deposit.
I see me and the children in a rental while he goes off and buys a place.
I hope it’s not 50/50 but what will be will be I suppose. I feel I’m moaning but it seems unfair.

[Singlenotsingle]

Argue two thirds for you, and one third to him especially if it's in your sole name. How much did you put in as a deposit when you bought it? (Unlikely you'd have to pay him for another five years anyway).

[NorthernSpirit]

I’m surprised you are divorced and have not agreed the finances. Judges usually won’t issue the absolute until the financial consent order has been agreed.

When you are married finances become joint. Doesn’t matter who owned the house before (unless you signed a pre-nup).

Courts have a juty to consider a clean break and start at 50:50. So work back from the here. It’s a myth you’ll be able to stay in the FMH until the youngest reaches 18 (although it is an option under a mesher order). The dad if he has overnight contact will need appropriate accommodation as well. If you could buy him out you would be expected to take on a the mortgage and pay for it.

[Summersweet]

You are right it’s not absolute yet. I put down £50,000 on the house originally. He isn’t allowed any overnight contact at the moment due to a court order. Most of his money has been spent on alcohol although there is no way of showing the judge that fact. They do know he is an alcoholic.

[NorthernSpirit]

Unfortunately it doesn’t matter if you put more of a deposit down (on marriage finances become joint).

Do you have a solicitor sorting out your finances? The investment I am sure would pay back.

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

To OP

Until the Absolute is issued you are still legally married. I assume by now the Nisi has been issued?

During my divorce asset split was agreed between myself and ex with advice from Legal. However, before judge agreed to stamp the Consent Order they wanted to see the Nisi.

Even if your ex does not have overnight contact with children he still needs somewhere to live. Courts are obliged to take into account the needs of both partners regardless of who paid for the assets.

[waterSpider]

It's not inevitable that the split will be close to 50/50. And, if it is that kind of split, not inevitable that this needs to happen now.
You may be able to argue that it would be better to do nothing with the house until the youngest is 18, and do any division then.
Cynically, if your ex-H has a desire (rather than real need) for ready cash now, you could try a lower settlement now or a higher settlement that wouldn't happen until kids hit 18+.
But in your case it may be worth 'investing' in strong legal counsel.

[Summersweet]

Yes I have a solicitor and have spent a small fortune already arguing to keep the children safe which has been successful (obviously that was the main concern) but it's left me with very little money to continue arguing for a decent deal on the house.
I'm struggling to get my head around the best options or what I should be trying to do at this stage.
Our financial statements have already been processed and there is little to share in that respect. Our only asset is the house.
Obviously I don't want to lose the house and for the children it's the only home they have known but whether to try and raise money or delay the process or just give up I don't know. After a year of nastiness on a daily basis I'm feeling depressed about it all but at least the children are with me, at least until he can prove to the court he has sorted himself out.

[ohamIreally]

Are you sure there are no pensions? Employers are obliged to pay into them now? You might be able to offset a bit ?

[Summersweet]

We each have a very small and similar amount in pensions - negligible.

[Kee78]

Summersweet. I am going through the same thing. It’s really draining. How did things pan out for you?