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should your ex only be issued with vouchers

(117 Posts)
curi0us1 Wed 04-Jul-18 22:59:09

Hi all, just a quick question, if you pay a huge amount of CSM to your ex, do you think this should be paid in vouchers for clothing, food, housing etc, rather than being paid in cash, reason being that it may be used in a manner not in the best interests of your children. thanks for your time

OP’s posts: |
AnneLovesGilbert Wed 04-Jul-18 23:02:29

Absolutely not.

MyYoniFromHull Wed 04-Jul-18 23:03:22

of course not

PhilODox Wed 04-Jul-18 23:05:08

Gosh, I didn't realise banks sold vouchers for mortgages now... hmm

Alaaya Wed 04-Jul-18 23:05:55

Completely not. What a vile idea.

FissionChips Wed 04-Jul-18 23:06:19


meditrina Wed 04-Jul-18 23:09:53

Dreadful idea.

Voucher systems simply don't work. It adds to costs (fancy paying even more, OP, to cover the admin?) reduces efficiency and might not meet the actual spending priorities. No use having vouchers for food, clothing, housing when actually what you need right now is the boiler fixed and a tank of petrol

curi0us1 Wed 04-Jul-18 23:11:04

thanks for your reply, but could this be explained better as to why not.

OP’s posts: |
HerRoyalNotness Wed 04-Jul-18 23:13:17

Because it’s a method of control. Once the money is handed over it’s not yours anymore and can and should be spent as the RP sees fit. Ok there might be a few who don’t use it to benefit the children but the vast majority do.

C0untDucku1a Wed 04-Jul-18 23:15:22

What an incredibly controlling idea and does nothing other than show what a terrible partner the ex was.

Op is your ex still trying to control you? Or his new partner?

Battleax Wed 04-Jul-18 23:15:31

Your ex is an adult. If you think she’s neglecting your child, follow the appropriate steps, otherwise pay what you owe and stop being a control twunt.

IWantMyHatBack Wed 04-Jul-18 23:15:58

Because the costs associated with feeding housing and clothing kids aren't always to do with buying food, clothes, and paying the rent/mortgage.

General house repairs, broken car, yet another £10 for some random thing at school.

Oh, and it's controlling as fuck and assumes the resident parent can't manage money, or somehow needs guiding in the 'correct' way to spend the maintenance.

FedUpLetDown Wed 04-Jul-18 23:16:05

What would be the point in that? Surely it all just goes into one pot. If you were to give vouchers for a supermarket or clothes shop what’s to stop them buying booze/ fags or clothes for themselves?

curi0us1 Wed 04-Jul-18 23:16:10

hi, thanks for your reply, I cant see an admin issue, how much do you pay amazon/Ocado/asda/Tesco for a food or clothing order? I don't see a huge admin cost from CSM with a voucher if you already pay a % to them for next to noting? do you class a tank of petrol or a repaired boiler as an ex partners issue?

OP’s posts: |
RoboJesus Wed 04-Jul-18 23:16:35

No that's stupid in so many ways

Happynewlife Wed 04-Jul-18 23:17:17

You usually pay a percentage of what you earn so if you pay a huge amount it means you earn a huge amount.

FedUpLetDown Wed 04-Jul-18 23:17:44

Of course it’s an ex partners issue if their kids are living in a cold house or need driving anywhere.

WinnieTheW0rm Wed 04-Jul-18 23:18:10

Well, if NRP's salary is also paid in vouchers, to cover what someone else thinks their spending priorities shouid be, then it might be OK. Ready to have that amount of control placed on your spending, OP?

(I'm assuming here you are a CSM-paying NRP. My apologies if not)

Battleax Wed 04-Jul-18 23:18:11

No, no admin issue in arranging for thousands of mortgage lenders and landlords to accept fiddly vouchers 🙄🙄🙄

Battleax Wed 04-Jul-18 23:18:44

Cut the crap OP, and explain why it would be a GOOD idea.

Alaaya Wed 04-Jul-18 23:19:58

do you class a tank of petrol or a repaired boiler as an ex partners issue?

Well, since it's your ex's kids who will be going cold if the boiler breaks or not getting to school due to no petrol...yes. The costs of raising a child aren't just food and housing.

buggedby Wed 04-Jul-18 23:20:17

do you class a tank of petrol or a repaired boiler as an ex partners issue?

They are issues that pertain to the children though aren't they? They are part of the costs of having children, housing them and taking them places.

IWantMyHatBack Wed 04-Jul-18 23:20:33

Broken boiler would come under general house costs, which is part of the cost of housing a child, so yes.
Presumably the car is used when driving the children around, so yes, perfectly reasonable that some of that cost be covered by CM

drquin Wed 04-Jul-18 23:20:41

Yes a tank of petrol or broken boiler may well be ex-partner's "issue" ...... in that it's the ex-partner's child who is living in the house with no heating. Or ex-partner's child who can't get to school or clubs for lack of petrol.
You don't pay for food & clothing only ..... you pay (or should be 🙄) for a share of all costs involved in raising a child.

I hope you're a troll .....

EB123 Wed 04-Jul-18 23:20:51

No, that strikes me as being controlling. You don't pay x amount for food, x amount for clothes etc, the money goes into a pot and gets used appropriately as needed.

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