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Desperately need to get us out

(4 Posts)
Sunshinegirl18 Mon 02-Jul-18 23:14:02

Been in an EA relationship with a narcissistic control freak for years and we have a little boy of 16 months together.

I've shrunk to a shadow of my former self and I'm not trying to get us out.

Can honestly say this is the most stressed, concerned and worried I have ever been.

He says be wants 50/50 residency despite the fact that he works more than 60 hours a week. He'd just get "other people" to look after our son while he was at work.

I work part time two days a week and look after our son three full days and around half the time at weekends. I am the one who gets up 7 days a week with our son, whatever time that may be, despite me asking him to share weekend wake ups.

I've said we need to address residency/access at mediation and remain amicable. He has consulted a solicitor.

I don't believe my little boy is developmentally ready for overnights away from me. We co- sleep and I'm still breastfeeding. He wakes up twice or four times a night for a feed and to go back to sleep.

He thinks our little boy wouldn't be distressed if I suddenly wasn't there in the middle of the night.

Contact I've suggested is two evening nights and EOW but from morning until bedtime (i.e. no overnights). I know the reality is he would really struggle with anything more based on his current schedule and work commitments.

He has also said to me tonight when I've said I've found a house that I have no right to move out of the house with our son. It's not within the law. I don't think he's right but years of EA have left me doubting myself and unsure.

Desperately need to get out of the house and away from his controlling behaviour. It can't be good for Sam either, this atmosphere and constantly stomach knawing worry.

So scared for the next week, for the future, how this could affect out little boy and many more reasons.

Need a big hand hold, support & advice

OP’s posts: |
Cutyourshakehole Mon 02-Jul-18 23:20:40

Of course you can move out with your son. And you should. Don’t let him hold you back.

FinallyFree123456789 Mon 02-Jul-18 23:24:38

You can move out with your son.
Could you go and speak to a solicitor? Most give free half hour consultations - just so you can have peace of mind.

I’ve been through the court process; I’m 7 years down the line.....thankfully I wasn’t married to my dd other parent - and I use that term loosely - but knowledge is power! He thinks he has the power and knowledge to bully you into what he wants. Xx

seventhgonickname Wed 04-Jul-18 09:19:34

You are the main carer so your son goes with you.You don't say if your married,if he's on the birth certificate.
When you move change address details for your son to for anything that applies.

You also might want to contact me admin as you have put your son's name in your
post.
Good luck,you will find yourself again once you leave.Its hard at first but is better than what you have now and it does get easier.

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