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Do you love your ex?

(91 Posts)
Weddingplanningandlovingit Wed 27-Jun-18 18:34:16

Just that really, particularly if he’s the father of your kids? Despite everything do you still have a piece of your heart for him?

OP’s posts: |
justsobloodysad Fri 29-Jun-18 11:05:08

Yes. It messes with my head. Either I am set to have the best coparenting relationship ever or we made a big mistake. I won't have more kids so he will always be 'the one' in that respect.

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname Fri 29-Jun-18 11:06:36

Piece of my heart????
Wouldn't even give him my wee if he was on fire tbh.

justsobloodysad Fri 29-Jun-18 11:08:45

I have had moments of clarity like that too @Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname!

pumpkinpie01 Fri 29-Jun-18 11:10:55

Massive no, I cannot stand the sight of him he is an irritating arrogant pompous idiot and those are his nice qualities.

JaretsGirlfren Fri 29-Jun-18 11:11:32

He’s the father to my only child but I can honestly say I hate him (financial and verbal/mental abuse)

rainingcatsanddog Fri 29-Jun-18 11:14:19

No. Unfortunately he takes up part of my brain though.

letsallhaveanap Fri 29-Jun-18 11:14:21

Yes. I never understand why people can say they love someone one minute and then they dont the next. I dont find it works like that at all.
I have absolutely no interest in resuming a relationship with any of my exes at all... and I love my husband very much but that doesnt mean I dont care about the people I have loved in my life very deeply.

Some relationships you just cannot continue for whatever reason but for me that doesnt suddenly erase the fact that I love that person.
Ive only really been in love 4 times in my life though.

One of them I cannot speak to or have anything to do with because he was violent towards me.... but I do care about him, I just know that to respect myself I cannot even be friends with him any more.
1 of them I have little to do with because he wasnt really interested in being friends and thats fair enough.... but I do still love him and would certainly be there for him in any way if needed or wanted.
1 of them I consider a close friend who I still talk to often. Hes happy with a lovely woman now.
And the last one is my husband!

Mrsfluff Fri 29-Jun-18 11:16:25

Nope, I hold no fond feelings for my ex, which is sad really, after, 20 years together. He destroyed any love I had for him. Luckily my daughter is 18 and has her own relationship with him, so I need have no contact at all. If I ever see him I only feel revulsion!!

rainingcatsanddog Fri 29-Jun-18 11:33:26

* I never understand why people can say they love someone one minute and then they dont the next*

I think that people usually fall in love before they know what a person is like at their worst. If their worst is really bad then you have to mentally work on stopping feeling love because the only people who deserve your love are ones who aren't trying to bring you down. Healthy love lifts you up emotionally and physically. I didn't stop loving ex immediately but I had to use my head to reduce that love until it was more on the lines of "thankful he's left me alone and making an effort with the kids"

rainingcatsanddog Fri 29-Jun-18 11:35:14

I think of my ex like the teachers that my kids have. Thankful for the input into my kids life and for not being a pain.

Pompom42 Fri 29-Jun-18 11:37:33

Yes. I have 2 baby daddies and still love them both. One was in my life for a long time and still is. The other one was in my life for only a short time and I don't see him at all now.
But yes still holding torches for them both.

Omgineedanamechange Fri 29-Jun-18 11:40:07

Good god no, I’ll honestly celebrate when the evil cunt finally drinks himself to death.

NewtScamandersNaughtyNiffler Fri 29-Jun-18 11:44:33

No but I would never wish him ill. He's the Father of my children and I loved him very much once.

Haberpop Fri 29-Jun-18 11:50:14

No, he is the father of my children but that is it.

lalaloopyhead Fri 29-Jun-18 11:51:23

No not at all, but it has been 13 years since we split. The kids are late teens now so we don't have any contact at all and on the whole don't give him much thought at all.

Having said that I don't not like him and would care if he was ill etc

moodance Fri 29-Jun-18 11:53:06

I love my ex ... I am not in love with them ... I love them as a family member... I wish no harm on them at all ... that's why they are an ex and that how and why we co parent fantastically.

How can you have a child with someone .. love them ... then hate them ... extreme emotions there ... unless the ex was stir crazy and just horrible then it's okay to hate them 😂

purplelass Fri 29-Jun-18 11:57:07

I suppose I care about what happens to him, we were together for over 20 years, but I definitely don't love him any more. Don't hate him any more either, I'm pretty meh about him to be honest.

LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset Fri 29-Jun-18 11:58:32


LesLavandes Fri 29-Jun-18 12:02:44

I detest the bullying, abusive narcissistic git and what he has done to my family

AlfredTheCat Fri 29-Jun-18 12:13:04

Big fat no. Have kids with 2 feckless idiots. The question should be 'do you wonder how you ever got together in the first place?'

Skyejuly Fri 29-Jun-18 12:13:29


EnglandKeepMyBones Fri 29-Jun-18 12:16:24

God no.

LiteraryDevil1 Fri 29-Jun-18 12:21:03

What @LesLavandes said. He could be dead for all I care. He was an abusive narc in the marriage and has continued to be so since he fucked off with his next victim. I can't wait for the kids to be adults so I don't have to deal with him at all.

Boredboredboredboredbored Fri 29-Jun-18 12:24:03

No I didn't love him for around 12 years of our 14 year marriage. We made each other very miserable and stayed together for our children. He gets married again this summer, I feel sorry for his fiancé as he's an arrogant, selfish man.

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