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Will it ever end??

(5 Posts)
mumof3boy Mon 11-Jun-18 17:14:02

Husband (as he still is) and I officially separated last April 2017. We are STILL living in the family home together with our boys ages 5, 7 and 9, and sometimes I'm not sure how I've managed this far!!

The sting in the tale is that he has cancer, which he will now no longer discuss with me as he thinks its none of my business. It is when I know ultimately it will be me having to pick up the pieces for our boys when he isn't here anymore.

He has a girlfriend and has been with her for almost a year. Goodness knows why she can accept that he's still living with his wife so much further down the line whilst going through the health issues that he is.

He won't sell the house as he is scared I will take the boys to Sheffield where my family are and buy up there. He won't move out, keeps saying time and time again that it should be ME moving out...??!!! Seriously????

So we got a court hearing set for August and the latest is that he is trying to cancel it. Trying to get his GP to write a letter saying he isn't fit to attend the hearing....I must add that he is working full time and spends at least 3 evenings a week out. So I question why a court hearing to resolve this hideous living situation is so difficult for him!

The court hearing was keeping me going. Knowing that the judge wants the best for the children, which is who this is about at the end of the day. I'm praying that the judge will still try and deal with the case no matter what EX Husband tries to do in terms of adjourning postponing etc....

I can't carry on living like this much longer. Its horrible. The poor boys are so confused. Going out for days out with Daddy and GF and her kids and then coming home to Mummy.

I just want an end to this awful mess we are in. If he could be honest with me about his health and if this prognosis is bad and that's the reason for this trying to cancel the court hearing then I might be able to understand a little but he's telling me nothing even when I directly ask him.

I'm self representing in court I should add. I've had contact with court who have suggested that the judges are used to sad situations like this and I shouldn't panic until I hear anything from the court to the contrary. The paperwork that came with the court hearing said both parties have to agree to adjournment which I obviously wont.

Support....advice...experience....all mucho appreciated!!


OP’s posts: |
ThinkOfAWittyNameLater Mon 11-Jun-18 17:16:53

Bloody hell. This is ghastly.

I have no experience of this so I'm just going to do what I can and bump for you.

lifebegins50 Mon 11-Jun-18 23:17:22

What hearing is it? Fdr or Fda?

I suspect the court will ask for a hearing even if brief to establish the basics.
I can understand why he doesn't want to disclose his health as it will feel personal to him and maybe he thinks you will use it against him.

It is an awful situation and the poor children, do they know much about their dads health?

If you do move he may have a case to ask for the children to remain closeby, due to his need for medical continuity and children's rights to see their dad.

MrsBertBibby Tue 12-Jun-18 06:58:55

If he wishes the court to take his condition into account he will have to file a medical report setting out full detail of treatment and prognosis. So he will have to come clean.

Is this FDA or FDR?

mumof3boy Tue 12-Jun-18 09:21:35

The court hearing we currently have scheduled is the FDA. My Form E is very nearly done and I am ready to exchange with his solicitor who last week told me its too early to exchange as the latest date is July. I didn't think that too early was a thing?? I'm going to post it off to her and the court this week in readiness.

The children know Daddy has been poorly due to hospital visits and a stay over Christmas but at the moment they think he is ok as he is leading what from the outside appears like a normal life. They don't know the severity of it. They're too young to understand.

My middle son is in a mess with tummy aches and I'm sure its all down to this situation.

I have no intention of moving the boys away now as they need the school stability in what is likely to be a very uncertain future for them.

He has suggested nesting, where we rent a flat and share time in it whilst taking turns to look after the children but this is an added expense and I just wish he could be open and honest about everything.

My main concern is the court case and whether he is likely to be successful in cancelling or postponing!! And if he doesn't submit his papers then the judge has nothing to go on from his side of things??

Thank you for the replies I'm glad I've found this site to share concerns and relieve some of my worries. It's an awfully worrying time xx

OP’s posts: |

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