This is a Premium feature
To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet.Start using Mumsnet Premium
How to separate amicably(4 Posts)
I’m pretty convinced that my OH doesn’t love me. I’ve been thinking this for a while and I’m not sure I love him anymore. He’s the type of guy that wouldn’t leave an unhappy relationship and will just bumble along. He has never ended a long term relationship.
Anyway we’ve not been getting on. Or rather he just will not talk to me. Last time this happened I asked him to leave but he won’t. He is living with me under my housing licence and that gives him a right to work where we live. If we separated then he would probably get his own licence due to the fact he has a child living here.
We live in rented accommodation and both of our names are in the lease. I do not want to leave because he wouldn’t be able to afford it anyway, I could increase my hours to cover the rent until I find something more affordable and appropriate. It’s close to my dc’s childcare and close to my work. I do all the running around taking dc to childcare etc so it’s very convenient.
He will not leave.
How can I convince him that we need to be grown ups about this and move on?
You have to talk about it. Amicable separations definetly do happen but only when a parting couple wants it to be, or that they have strong emotional resources and a good deal of reasonableness if a separation isn't what one party wants.
You also need to make a decision. If he didn't move out last time, it may be because he didn't think you were serious and things then just returned to how they were. He needs to know this is it, and plans need to be made to separate.
Have you told him you want couple's counselling? I'm using it as a way to talk thru issues that need to be resolved before we can split. I'm hoping it will continue to be amicable.
Please login first.