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Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce/separation

Can't agree on where to live - is annulment possible?

16 replies

tw3lv3 · 27/05/2018 17:35

My husband and I were not living together before we got married. He agreed to move to where I live and I married him on that basis, believing he would be moving to where I live and we would be living there together. A few days after the wedding he informed me he wouldn't be moving after all and I would have to move to where he lives. He said he had only just changed his mind but I have my suspicions that was his plan all along. I won't get into why neither of us wishes to move but we are both set on staying where we are. My question is, is there any possibility of getting the marriage annulled by citing some kind of fraud or misrepresentation perhaps?

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Knittedfairies · 27/05/2018 17:42

I think it unlikely you could annul a marriage on the grounds you couldn’t decide where to live:
www.gov.uk/how-to-annul-marriage

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sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/05/2018 17:42

www.gov.uk/how-to-annul-marriage

Have a look in here if you are in the UK

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Arcadia · 27/05/2018 17:44

As a family lawyer I would say no, the bar for annulment is extremely high. Unless there has been no consummation? If you don't wish to wait a year after marriage you could go for a legal separation, but you would still be technically married. You will otherwise need to wait until married a year and go on unreasonable behaviour.

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sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/05/2018 17:44

Seems odd though that you both supposedly love someone enough to marry them but not enough to be able to compromise on where to live.

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Walkingdeadfangirl · 27/05/2018 17:45

Depends on what he law is where you live, how long you have been married, if you have been having sex, if you have evidence he had said he was moving after wedding etc etc. You need to see a solicitor and try annulment asap.

If you cant annul it just divorce him and get on with your life.

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tw3lv3 · 27/05/2018 17:48

It's not that we "couldn't decide where to live". My husband stated he would be moving to be with me and then immediately 'changed his mind' after the marriage. I wouldn't have married him had I known that. I relied on that statement when I married him.

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tw3lv3 · 27/05/2018 17:53

I'm from the UK. Arcadia, re: non-consummation, whether or not that is the case, if we both agree to state that, is that a possibility?

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sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/05/2018 17:53

Well it's pretty obvious that neither of you really wanted marriage, you didn't want it enough to move to be with him and he didn't want it enough tome to be with you and neither of you were willing to compromise and move somewhere in the middle. He was wrong to lie to you though.

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tw3lv3 · 27/05/2018 18:02

There's a bit more to it than just not being willing to compromise. I won't get into why I can't relocate because that doesn't really matter but I can't. I don't even really want to think about whether or not he lied or changed his mind because that also doesn't really matter. I'm just trying to see if there's any way to get the marriage annulled rather than having to get divorced.

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SoyDora · 27/05/2018 18:07

Had you actually put any plans in place regarding the move before the wedding? Was he planning to move into your house? What was he going to do with where he was currently living? It seems weird that these plans weren’t finalised before the actual wedding. Had me booked a removal van? Agreed a day that he would be turning up?
Anyway... annulment seems unlikely in the circumstances.

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SickofPeterRabbit · 27/05/2018 18:10

If you loved each other you wouldn't care where you lived

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Arcadia · 27/05/2018 18:11

Sorry but ignore those suggesting it might be possible; however unreasonable, someone changing their mind won't constitute grounds for annulment. I had this exact situation with a case and checked the law. In the end they went for legal separation.

OP you would be committing perjury if you lie re consummation to the Court so obviously I cannot say that is a good idea!

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tw3lv3 · 27/05/2018 20:05

No, there was no van booked etc. I wasn't expecting him to move in the next day. He had spoken to agents about selling his house and was doing some works to it to be able to sell it. They had run on a bit and were still being finished off when we got married. He works from home so that's not an issue - he doesn't need to find a new job. We both have reasons why we can't relocate but we had dealt with them and decided this was the best way. I 100% believed it was all agreed. I don't really agree that, if you love someone, you don't care where you live. I think that's a bit simplistic and judgemental. You really don't know the situation or the reasons - which, to be fair, I haven't shared.

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tw3lv3 · 27/05/2018 20:05

Arcadia, thank you so much, you've really helpful.

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BewareOfDragons · 27/05/2018 20:11

Sorry, OP. It sounds like he's really let you down and just expected you would cave and do what he wants. I'd most likely do exactly what you're doing; look for a quick way out of the marriage since he's basically lied to you and didn't see it as a big deal. It is.

Good luck.