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Cafcass experience please

(7 Posts)
lifebegins50 Thu 17-May-18 22:59:48

I would appreciate others experience of cafcass as now in court for residence.
Separated 18months, had to go to court for finances and now ex has decided to challenge my role as primary carer.

Truly believe he doesn't have dc's best interests at heart as he works long hours and often out of the country.He is saying he can flex his work but never been possible before.
Dc's very keen to live with me but I am having to move 20 miles away as FMH has to be sold and I need to work full time so need to be closer to work and family.

I believe my case is compelling but I am worried as ex is deeply manipulative.

If dcs want to stay with me, is it likely cafcass would take their recommendation? Is a judge likely to overrule cafcass report?
Did you feel cafcass needed to balance parents in their report?

Dcs are over 10 and I have always been primary carer.


OP’s posts: |
MrsBertBibby Fri 18-May-18 07:40:08

That sounds reasonably positive for you.

Court is always a roll of the dice, especially now most cases are stuck with the magistrates, but if over 10s have a clear and reasonable view that helps.

Will their schools change?

Zampa Fri 18-May-18 07:46:59

I've had a very positive experience of CAFCASS. I believe they genuinely act in the best interests of the child (rather than either the RP and NRP).

I presume that you have no issues with contact between the children and your ex?

lifebegins50 Fri 18-May-18 14:40:12

Zampa, did the judge take the cafcass recommendation?

School will change but all below Year 8.
Change is to a very similar school, size, ethos, academic standards.They will not be only children starting new school at that time.It's private so lots of dc move at Year 9.
Dc happy to change, they are very able academically and no concerns socially.

Dc have said they will not live with dad and would run away if made to.I am told their needs and wishes are important but I felt the judge was focussed on keeping school even if that meant I couldn't move and that would cause me real hardship as work impossible.

I hope I am wrong but school stability seemed more important than primary carer stability.From the dc's perspective it would be a massive change if they had to live more with ex.They would much prefer to change schools and face a few weeks of settling.
Ex is making the disruption factor a key feature despite schools having no concerns.
No witness statements yet so my case not fully documented but I was surprised at judges tone.
Contact with ex is eow and midweek and midweek might need thinking about but I am happy to work through ideas.Dc not overly keen on midweek as they feel its disruptive as getting stuff to other house etc.Ex moved away so they also have a commute to his today.He rents so has full flexibility where he can live and my new location could be great for his work.

Ex will fight really hard and that is why I worry for dc as they would consider it a disaster if they had to spend more time with him.He is a bully, lovely if it goes his way but as soon as they dissent he reacts badly and this is happening more as they get older.

If cafcass listen to dc and judge implements their recommendations I won't worry but my confidence is shaken so looking for reassurance.

OP’s posts: |
Aprilmightbemynewname Fri 18-May-18 14:45:40

Ime you need to read, read and reread the reports as you get them from cafcass.
Query /question any points you know aren't factual /exh words.
My exh got nc with my dc after it came out the whole report (4 years worth) was based on what exh had told a senior cafcass officer.
He did not act in the best interests of my dc.
If you know you are correct in what your dc want then enlist school /hv /personal references to help your case.
In my case the judge overruled cafcass but I know that's rare.

Zampa Fri 18-May-18 15:37:16

@lifebegins50 Yes, the judge wholly took on board what CAFCASS has to say. However, CAFCASS did not wholly take on board what the children had to say (11 and 8 at the time) as they believed what they were saying was influenced by adults.

lifebegins50 Sat 19-May-18 17:26:04

Thank you all.

This feels so unnecessary as ex is just fighting rather than genuine attempt to compromise or look for solutions.It is his way or no way.

It's so important for dc and I fear that I may let them down by not getting it right.

Did anyone feel there was a biase towards 50:50 even if dc don't want this?

OP’s posts: |

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