cheating and breaking up (home owners)

[Ohla19]

I don't really know where to else to go for advice and hoped someone may know or have a similar experience. Myself and now ex boyfriend had bought our first home together. (In both our names) Although I just pay all the bills too him and he then pays the bills that are in our name. So he has all the account details! (Hopefully this is not a problem?) A few months ago he had tried to buy me out the property and that I would just be paying rent as I had quit my job due to the pressures of him telling me to earn more. He's always earned more than me and from the start of the relationship it's also been 50/50 and I've struggled! I can't blame him for having a good job but at the time I said no as I would be able to borrow the money and I also got given my old job back. Everything was fine but he has been making out to everyone that my mental health is really bad and whilst on a work night out he kissed his colleague and they've been chatting away ever since, when I asked him about his night out he never told me about this and it was through Facebook I found out what had happened and seen all the texts back and forth. I feel angry because he knows he will get the flat as he earns more and I had only just got my job back so I wouldn't be able to buy him out.

Last night I told him I wanted to think about things and didn't want to be pushed but then he started shouting and becoming more aggressive as he had expected me out of the property before he got home. He then brought his mum round which he knows how much she intimidates me. They then offered me half of the money of what I've paid into the flat so far and that I'll get the rest as it will take some days to clear. He hasn't told me when he wants to sort the legal side and I don't know where to go from here..

Can this affect me in the future if I want another mortgage when I am able to afford it?
What is the process of it changing to just his name? - Will HSBC do checks again and if he was to not get approved would this then cost us both? Does it have to go through a lawyer too or can HSBC just change this and what would be the costs?

[MrsBertBibby]

You need to see a solicitor.

[DontDribbleOnTheCarpet]

MrsBert is right- you can't sort this out yourselves. You also need someone who is on your side and who will make sure you get a fair deal.

[lifebegins50]

You will need to be formally off the mortgage and ownership of the flat so can't just walk away.

How long have you had the place? What was the deposit?

The process should be to get the house valued or agree the figure, less mortgage, and the equity split between you both.
Your ex could remortgage for your share but he needs to arrange it with the building society.He might not earn enough to get the mortgage by himself.

The worry you may have is that he will give you money but leave you on the mortgage so won't be able to get another one.
Do it properly through a solicitor and get all the details together of mortgage and house value.

Do you have family to support you?