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My decree absolute has arrived- not feeling the emotions I expected...

(3 Posts)
dragonfly75 Sun 06-May-18 07:43:36

Hi all,
My decree absolute arrived 3 days ago and I have had the most weird few days...
I expected to feel just relief and happiness that I could finally move on after years of feeling rubbish... but I am having so many more feelings too...

My husband walked out on me after 17 years of marriage. He initiated the divorce. We hadn't been happy for years, so despite being devastated that my marriage was over, I knew it was the right thing to do.

I have moved on and now with a new partner and we have the m
kind of relationship I have always wanted: we have mutual respects, trust and love. There are no games or drama, just simple, honest love. I am finally happy and feel like I have found my soul mate.

I have been going through the divorce process for months and all I have been focused on is getting the decree absolute. I wanted the relief of all the drama and negativity being over.

My certificate arrived 3 days ago and I do feel relief, but what i wasn't prepared for were my tears, feeling sad, feeling lost, feelings of emptiness and- to some extent-nervous for the future.

Why am I feeling like this?!! I am happy in my new relationship; I know my ex wasn't the right man for me; I have been willing this day for many months. Why do I feel so weird about it all?

Has anyone else felt like this when they received their decree absolute? All these feeling have thrown me...

OP’s posts: |
LittleCandle Sun 06-May-18 07:49:26

It is the end of something and you are grieving for it. It is quite natural. You are happier, but you obviously went into the marriage not expecting it to end this way. Lots of people feel like you do.

I thought I would feel like that, but he had been such a shit to me while we were trying to sort out the divorce that all I felt was - nothing. The relief part had come when I learned he had filed for divorce (on our wedding anniversary! hmm) and getting the actual bit of paper that said we were finally divorced was just like a full stop at the end of the sentence.

BigGreenOlives Sun 06-May-18 07:50:16

Firstly congratulations.

I haven’t had this experience but I suspect it is because all the hopes and dreams you had for that relationship, when it was working, are definitely not in your future and that takes adjusting to. I hope that the unsettling feelings pass quickly, I think you’ll just have to work through them.

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