Ex being nightmare :-(

[Mayflymaynot]

Hi

My first time on here. Im at a stalemate with my ex.

We separated after 15 years of marriage- him being a physical and emotional bully. Been separated 20 months and now at Decree Nisi stage.

Have 2 children age 7 and 11.

Ex gives me nothing. I claim ctax credits. I pay all mortgage (which is in both names).

I work full time to afford to keep our home.

Ex has children 4 nights a week at his house but this is mainly just for sleeping and school run. I have the most caring responsibilities. (homework/bathing/feeding).

Now trying to agree on finances. Ex previously agreed to a deal. I said as he had made no mortgage payments or any payments at all i was happy for 50/50 split on equity in house at time of separation and transfer house to me meanwhile.

Bank said they would do this once ex has had legal advice.

Ex saw a solicitor who said the deal was unfair to him and he should have another 12k. He has since hidden behind this advice and will not budge. I have asked him to email me what deal he wants so i can negotiate but he hasn't bothered.

This is just typical of my ex. He is vexed because i have a new partner who is wonderful and loving, caring and kind. Takes care of me and kids and kids like him.

I feel my ex is revenging me. Trouble is i cant afford a legal battle. My expenses wipe out my income.

I would welcome any ideas on how to cheaply resolve this stand off. My ex wants £42k extra (over what the bank valued the house at) i am happy for him to have an extra £30k which he agreed to initially. But i think he is swayed by this Solicitor he saw who thought it a good idea to stir up a hornets' nest of trouble then charge my ex a fortune to sort out her mess and cost me a fortune plunging me into debt to defend myself.

Any help or advice would be most appreciated!!

[Kittycat124]

Could your solicitor send his solicitor a letter stating what you would be happy to give him? I know it’ll cost you, but he’s obviously not willing to communicate directly with you.

This is so similar to my situation, my ex went to a solicitor and changed his mind on our financial split (which we decided on at the beginning) He’s being awkward because he can and is lying about what his half of our property is worth so he can have a bigger share ( we had more than a house to split)

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Have you had mediation?

With the DC 4 nights a week, he has more official time with them than you do. It’s donr on nights, not days. So is his reason for wanting more equity that he’s saying he’s the primary carer? Might not be connected but that jumped out at me from your post.

[lifebegins50]

He would be deemed the carer so potentially entitled to more than 50%.Who claims child benefit?

Don't know the sums involved so not sure if they represent large percentage but could you offer £6k to settle this as solictors bills quickly add up